August 31, 2005

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

What I Want in a Man, Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer thing
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

Posted by vw bug at August 31, 2005 10:03 AM | TrackBack

That was funny, thanks for the laugh.

Posted by: Stacy at August 31, 2005 12:17 PM

uh... I guess you did post humor for the dreaded wednesday... D'oh!

Posted by: Contagion at August 31, 2005 02:37 PM

ROFL! That was goooood....

Posted by: pam at August 31, 2005 03:48 PM

this is funny. And I represent those remarks about 62

Posted by: GUYK at August 31, 2005 07:17 PM

So... I need to start chasing 72 year-old women? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at August 31, 2005 10:30 PM

Hahahahaha! Thanks, I needed that!

Posted by: Richmond at September 1, 2005 06:13 PM

Harvey, I can aim somewhere around 42 and up, evidently...

Posted by: Citizen Grim at September 1, 2005 11:19 PM