For my family... (and for everyone else, the 'inside' joke here is that my Mom was silly enough to buy me a 101 Elephant Joke book before we took a car trip from Illinois to Florida. I thought they were hilarious and read them out loud over and over and over... the book got 'lost' somewhere along the way).
Q: Why do elephants float down the river on their backs?
A: So they won't get their tennis shoes wet.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait until Autumn.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.
Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.
Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a pickle?
A: Their color of course!
Q: What kind of elephants live at the North Pole?
A: Cold ones.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they'd look silly carrying suitcases.
Q: What is convenient and weighs 20,000 pounds?
A: An elephant six-pack.
Q: What is the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
A: About three thousand miles.
Q: What do elephants take when they get hysterical?
A: Trunkquilizers.
Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
A: You can't make a paper airplane out of an elephant.
Q: How do elephants talk to each other?
A: By 'elephone.
Q: Why do elephants have cracks between their toes?
A: For carrying their library cards.
Sick of them yet?
Q: What is grey, has large wings, a long nose, and gives money to elephants?
A: The Tusk Fairy.
Q: Where do elephants with skincare problems go?
A: Pachydermatologists.
Q: What's red & white on the outside, and grey on the inside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup.
Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red and white on the outside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
(No, I did not make this one up!)
Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
Q. Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A. To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
Ok, enough already... Did you really make it this far? You are one sick puppy! ;-)
Posted by vw bug at January 25, 2006 05:00 AM | TrackBackQ: What's that brown stuff between an elephant's toes?
A: Slow natives.
Posted by: Ogre at January 25, 2006 08:02 AMI must be a sick puppy.
Posted by: Tige at January 25, 2006 03:08 PMHa! The VW bug one was really good! :)
Posted by: Richmond at January 25, 2006 03:29 PMMy oldest nephew went thru one of those joke book phases - 14 years later I'm still cringing. These elephant jokes came back to haunt me today as the professor in Psych of Learning started talking about African elephants. *shudder* I'm being haunted.
Posted by: MathCog Idiocy at January 26, 2006 08:55 PMwhat do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
elephino
Posted by: GUYK at January 27, 2006 10:14 AM