Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

You might be a true Pensacolian if you:

~ Know that a Blue Angel is a pilot, not a heavenly being.

~ Don't even give a screaming roadside preacher a second glance.

~ Accept that you are the only people in the country who toss mullet AND eat them.

~ Support Frank Patti unconditionally.*

~ Know which bathroom to go into at McGuire's Irish Pub.

~ Pour your Bushwhacker out on the boardwalk, to avoid Pensacola Christian College students.

~ Know that, when traveling on I-110 and you get static over the radio, the "Hot Doughnuts Now" light is on at Krispy Kreme.

~ Know these street names in order and know they are actually the same road:

Saufley Field Road, Michigan Avenue, Beverly Parkway, Brent Lane, Bayou Boulevard, and Perry Avenue, and, don't forget Mobile Highway, Cervantes Street, Scenic Highway, Highway 90.

Added bonus if you can explain it to a visitor or tourist!

~ Eat fried mullet.

~ Cried when you learned that J's bakery was closing and you celebrated upon its reopening.

~ Think a graffiti covered bridge is actually a local landmark, instead of a vandalized eyesore.

~ Kissed the moose.

~ Know the Oyster Bar is closed on Tuesdays.

~ Start most of your directions by saying "turn left at Jerry's Drive-In."

~ Know not to wear a tie to Mesquite Charlie?s.

~ Must drive on at least three roads undergoing construction wherever you go.

~ Call a drive to Nine Mile Road a ?road trip.?

~ Still call a certain intersection "The Circle."

~ Still call the corner of Garden and Alcaniz "The Sheraton."

~ Know that you had better pull over for funeral processions.

~ Know that, when arriving in Gulf Breeze from the 3-Mile Bridge, you immediately do the posted 35-mph speed limit and honor that speed limit through Gulf Breeze proper.

~ Have gotten a speeding ticket in Gulf Breeze.

~ Go to the beach over the Navarre bridge instead of the Gulf Breeze bridge, to save a buck in tolls.

~ Prefer county commission or school board meetings to WWF Smackdown, because there's more action.

~ Subscribe to the News Journal only to keep up with the latest on the Escambia County School Board.

~ Explain to visitors that it is not the harbor they smell, but the Main Street sewage treatment plant.

~ Would never drive to the beach to the Blue Angels show, preferring to go by boat instead.

~ Arrange your social calendar around Blue Angels weekends.

~ Think the four seasons are "almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas."

~ Know Roy Jones has a chicken house.

~ Call Scenic Highway "The Bluffs."

~ Moved back to Pensacola more than three times.

~ Have been asked to join every world religion while enjoying an evening in Seville Square.

~ Attend Thursday night summer concerts in the park, enduring blazing heat and 98% humidity.

~ Know the correct pronunciation of Texar Drive, Reus, Bobe, and Brainerd Streets.

~ Still call Perdido Beach "Gulf Beach."

~ Have waited in line for over an hour when a new chain restaurant comes to town.

~ Know at least 3 people involved in the Sandshaker scandal.

~Have witnessed at least 5 cars running a red light at any given intersection.

~You own a generator and have a year?s supply of water and gas stockpiled for next year's hurricane season.

~ Remember when Pensacola Beach didn't resemble Beirut.

~Continue to rebuild after every hurricane because why would you live anywhere else?

Live simply...laugh often...love deeply.

Posted by vw bug at February 1, 2006 06:38 AM | TrackBack