Living in the South

Much has happened. Not enough time to write it all down. Hence, I'm going to give you some good ol' southern humor:

First some Southerness:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. (** and my kids know how to pitch both of them)

- - -
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

- - -

In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
- - -

And now for a joke...

The Texas preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fainted.

Posted by vw bug at May 9, 2006 06:24 AM | TrackBack