Humor for Friday

While VW is off again to the Happiest Place on Earth she has once again lost her ever lovin' mind left the keys to her blog to me and my new partner in crime, Sticks.

As a Mom, I know that in direct opposition to the taking the kids to the "Happiest Place on Earth" you sometimes have to be with them/take them to Hell on Earth, otherwise known as Wal-Mart.

Now keep in mind, I have nothing against Wal-Mart as a corporation or as a retailer. I just know how hard it can be to get in, get stuff, and get out with two toddlers in tow...

This entry, unfortunately, is *not* for the mom's of toddlers braving he isles of Wally World. You're busy enough, thanyouverymuch. But, if you are like me, and you find yourself in need of some amusement while at Wal-Mart, these handy dandy instructions I received via email might just do the trick...

So just for fun, and because it's Friday....

How to kill time at Wal-Mart

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner
is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3' in
house wares”..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk ask s if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
“Why can't you people just leave me alone?”

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror,
and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loud humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And last but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then,
yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Posted by richmond at May 12, 2006 01:42 PM | TrackBack