More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Here's a start ...

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas Tree?
[A pineapple.]

What did the guest sing at the Eskimo Christmas Party?
[Freeze a jolly good fellow...]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
[It's Christmas, Eve!]

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
[We'll have a boo Christmas without you.]

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
[Missletoe!]

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
[A subordinate claus.]

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
[The letter "D"!]

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
[So he can ho-ho-ho.]

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
[Frostbite.]

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
[Ribbon hood.]

One Christmas I got a battery with a note saying, "Toy not included."

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.
Doctor: Take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring.

Patient: Doctor, I'm scared of Father Christmas.
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Merry Christmas.

Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
A: Have a furry merry Christmas and a Happy Mew Year.

Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: A merry Christmas to Ewe.

Posted by vw bug at December 12, 2007 05:37 AM | TrackBack