December 19, 2007

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

And here are some more (continued from last week):

What do elves learn in school?
[The Elf-abet!]

What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
[It was already wound up.]

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
[Its true, Comet cleans sinks!]

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
[No, you can have turkey like everyone else.]

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
[Sandy Claws!]

What kind of bird can write?
[A PENguin.]

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
[The turkey, he is always stuffed.]

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Judge: "What are you charged with?"
Prisoner: "Doing my Christmas shopping early."
Judge: "That's not an offense. How early were you doing this shopping?"
Prisoner: "Before the store opened."

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
[Santa Clues!]

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
[Jungle bells, jungle bells...]

What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
[Pour Santa flush on him.]

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
[Your teeth.]

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
[Because it has long-distance runners on each side.]

What are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
[They both drop their needles.]

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
[because every buck is dear to him.]

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
[Crisp Cringle.]

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !

Posted by vw bug at December 19, 2007 05:39 AM | TrackBack

Ugh. Really, really ugh.

Posted by: physics geek at December 19, 2007 01:23 PM

Ok, I had to read that dog for christmas one a few times and it took me a minute to get it.

I kept thinking, why would the mother tell him his pet had to be a turkey.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at December 19, 2007 03:28 PM

I read selected ones of these to my kids, and they enjoyed them.

Thanks for dropping by with kind wishes. We are doing great. I hope you are all over that yucky flu.

Posted by: Bob Agard at December 23, 2007 01:29 PM