January 30, 2008

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

New Mathematical Equivalencies

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 micro Scope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet of silver in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbird
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1000 kilograms of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision

Posted by vw bug at January 30, 2008 05:50 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I've got one for you; I've been saving it all week!

Little Johnny points at a picture in a zoo book and says, "Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant!"

Mother takes a deep breath and says, "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama! It says so right on the picture!"

And so it does ... "A f r i c a n Elephant"

Heh. :D

Posted by: pam at January 30, 2008 12:26 PM

I love that one!!! ;-) I can see me making that mistake with my kids!

Posted by: vw bug at January 31, 2008 12:54 PM