Time for some Wednesday Humor

MOM'S BROWNIE RECIPE • Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. • Melt 1-cup margarine in saucepan. • Remove teddy bear from oven and tell JR. "no, no." • Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. • Take shortening can away from JR. and clean cupboards. • Measure 1/3-cup cocoa. • Take shortening can away from JR. again and bathe cat. • Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail. • Assemble 4 eggs, 2-tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. • Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. • Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. • Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. • Measure 1-tsp. salt & a cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. • Let cat out of refrigerator. • Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. • Bake 25 minutes. • Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. • Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. • Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

FROSTING
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1 cup margarine

• Take the teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away-far away.
• Answer the door and meekly explain to nice police officer that you didn't know JR. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
• Put JR. in playpen.
• Add 1/3-cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
• Answer the door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
• Tie Billy to clothesline.
• Remove burned brownies from oven.
• Start on dinner!

Found at http://www.nanceestar.com/KidsMomsRecipe.html

Posted by vw bug at October 20, 2004 02:33 PM | TrackBack