November 23, 2005

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Who's Your Daddy..

These will make you smile and shake your head...

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support. The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. Or putting it another way...

Who's yo Daddy! These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto heels in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have
remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Yep, you guessed it right. You are all paying taxes to support these dim bulbs.

Which is your favorite?

Posted by vw bug at November 23, 2005 06:22 AM | TrackBack

uhhh... these are more scarey then funny... Scarey that there might actually be people like that in the world.

Posted by: Contagion at November 23, 2005 09:37 AM

I have no doubt these are true! Ha. The last is my favorite.

Posted by: oddybobo at November 23, 2005 10:10 AM

#6. Definately.

Posted by: Ogre at November 23, 2005 12:00 PM

Ah, and to think that tax dollars are supporting their Twinkies and Cheetos habits...

Posted by: Jody Halsted at November 23, 2005 01:30 PM

yep. My sweetthing retired from the Florida Dept of Children and Family services and I have heard some of the stories. One went to court and told the judge that the father said that if she told he would kill her and said, " Judge he's a mean muthafxxxx and he will too" The judge gave her the AFDC

Posted by: GUYK at November 23, 2005 02:37 PM


Posted by: Harvey at November 24, 2005 01:51 PM