February 27, 2008

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

My internet is alive again. Thanks Tink for helping out. Here is your humor for today:

I'm sure you've seem "Maxine" and read her poignant witticisms. Well, meet Max!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

Build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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Posted by vw bug at February 27, 2008 06:08 AM | TrackBack
Comments

uh, I thought this was supposed to be humor, not a list of facts. :)

Posted by: Contagion at February 28, 2008 07:01 PM

MCPs Rule?

Posted by: The Gray Monk at February 29, 2008 01:37 AM

You have proven yourself to be very open-minded. It's nice to see a place that can make fun of both genders, instead of just the man.

Posted by: Bob Agard at February 29, 2008 08:52 PM

Why are a woman's feet so small?

So she can stand closer to the sink.
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Why does the bride wear white?

The dishwasher is supposed to match the stove.

Posted by: physics geek at March 4, 2008 04:01 PM