August 31, 2005
Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
What I Want in a Man, Original List
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer thing
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
(posted by Marie)
The other night we went out to eat at a casual burger restaurant. We arrived early, thinking it'd be a quick in-out. The place was mobbed. Once we were seated, we were told that the crowd was due to The Wiggles being in town. I nodded like I knew what the heck they were talking about. All I know is that I had to scrounge up a high chair from another table because they were all in use by Wiggle fans.
So today I poked around online and found out that The Wiggles originate from Australia. They do music, videos and tv shows for children. Yes, apparently I live under a rock. Maybe Santa will bring us some Wiggle music this year.
So, ... What's a good video or album to start with, parents of Wiggle fans?
Also, please tell me that The Wiggles aren't as annoying as Elmo! Please!
August 30, 2005
Mary Popin's children escape
This is Sticks, I'm still guest posting for VW.
Anyone with young children knows that they can disappear in a microsecond. You can be a great, attentive mother and they will still find a way to get out of your sight. (My boys were about 3 and 4 during this incident). My boys, Improviser and Daredevil, were playing in their room. Or so I thought. About the time, I realized it was quiet; I heard a car horn blaring. I looked out the window to see both boys running down the street. The Improviser was holding an umbrella up. The Daredevil was right behind him. Both were totally naked! All day long after that, I nervously waited for HRS to show up.
Just a quick post to show what we found painted in our Garage this last weekend:
Good thing we have a sense of humor. ;-)
August 29, 2005
See the Pictures of Pensacola
There are some pictures of Pensacola at the Pensacola News Journal.
Karnival of Kids is UP!
August 28, 2005
Karnival of Kidz
Quick, look around. Do you see any good entries for the Karnival of Kidz? Then make sure you send them in! If it is not your blog... send that person an email and let them know about the Karnival of Kidz!
I'm sending in my post on Tater's first day. What are you sending in?
7 Hours Sleep
Hello All! Just a quick couple of posts. Everyone is asleep but me. I am so tired of working. My Mom is a workaholic when it comes to cleaning. How a woman who is almost seventy can outwork me is amazing. But I finally go sleep last night. We'll see how it goes today. Maybe, just maybe, I can finally keep up with her.
And I woke up to:
Not exactly what I needed to see this early in the morning. Still too close to Pensacola for my safety. I will keep a close eye on it to make sure my family and friends are not hit. Then again, I would hate for this storm to go in anywhere. Wouldn't it be nice if it just died out in the Gulf?
A good website with more information than most people can even understand is the Crown Weather site. That link above takes you straight to Hurricane Katrina information. Just be sure to keep scrolling through the info, there are some fantastic pictures towards the bottom.
Happy Belated Birthday to Evil Glenn
It's hard to believe Glenn Reynolds still celebrates birthdays. From all the stories I have read about him (and thoroughly enjoyed) I thought this man would never age. I was wrong. And I'm late. His birthday was yesterday. Sigh. A day late. But not forgotten. Happy Birthday Glenn. Hope you enjoy more Penguins, Hobos and Night time fun.
August 27, 2005
Tater had his first day of school today. Now isn't this cute???
Sorry folks, I am new at this and I didn't get the photos linked right for VW. I will attempt to post her photos again later as I'm running out of time right now. Any advise is greatly appreciated. Sigh. Sorry Mom. Just like a child to mess up things you trust them with. And, it seemed like such a simple assignment.
But, you can go over to my site, From Chaos to Serendipity, and help name hurricanes.
Side note from VW - I put in Queen Boudicca!!!! What can you come up with?
August 26, 2005
Carnival of Recipes #54
Don't forget to check out this week's Carnival of the Recipes - hosted this week by Caltechgirl at Not Exactly Rocket Science! Mmm mmm. She has a whole back-to-school lineup... be sure to have a look between buying your notebooks & new shoes!
Now, I see a recipe for Death by Chocolate, so if you'll excuse me, I hear that one calling my name...
Who's Smarter, Moms or Computers?
Hello, this is Sticks. While my "mom" is busy battling hurricanes and try to get her house ready to be put on the market, I will be sitting in here and there. I'm excited. It's kind of like take your daughter to work day.
Several years ago, my youngest son, The Chowhound, was typing a report on the computer while I was cooking dinner. He kept asking me, "how do you spell (this), how do you spell (that)". Now, I am not a spelling bee type person. More like the write it down, look at it, and then check the dictionary type. After a dozen or so words, I mentioned that he could use the spell check on the computer. And, he pipes up with, "Oh, I am using it. I was just checking to see if it was right." Moms are smart and know all in the eyes of their children. At least until they become teenagers.
August 25, 2005
Adventures of Mamaw
VW asked me to post this for her while she is busy.
My Mom, Mamaw, is terrified of flying. I was able to get her a direct
flight which only takes 1 hour and 40 minutes. First, the flight was
delayed because there was a leak in a hose. After they finally took
off 1 hour and 45 minutes LATE... they got close to Ft. Lauderdale and
had to go on down towards Miami because of a storm. Giving them an
extra 40 minutes in the air.
Last night she volunteered to sleep in the room with Tot. We offered
to move Tot, but she said it was not a problem. What she didn't
realize is that our dog likes to sleep in the same room as Tot. Oh...
why is that a problem? Because he SNORES. LOUDLY.
Tot only woke up once around 2am. So not too terribly bad. But then
the dog came in at 6am and licked Tot and Mamaw in the face. Oops.
Time to get up!
Did I mention that every time she went out to have a cigarette, it
rained. It hasn't rained here in weeks... my grass crunched when you
walked on it... but it is raining now. BTW, did you see we have a
Tropical Storm headed our way? No? Then take a peek because it is
suppose to be a hurricane by Friday.
And on the way to school this morning.. .our first day of school... I
got a flat tire. Really. I'm not joking. We got it repaired, took
the kids in and dropped them off. I knew Tot was going to be upset,
but I gave him a banana on the way and kept telling him it was ok. We
weren't gone 15 minutes when I got a call. Tot had thrown up. Yep,
had to go and get him. They won't keep them if they throw up.
Reminder to self... do NOT feed children before going somewhere they
don't like. Crying can cause food to come up if they cry hard enough.
Rental Car, Anyone?
[This is Marie here, filling in for VW today...]
You know how some experiences stay etched into your brain, never to be forgotten? Do you get the willies when you think of certain things? For me, one such willie-inducer is the thought of rental cars in Florida. [Click More Pawprints to read the rest...]
It was probably 10 years ago when I visited the great peninsula of Florida with a former beau. We flew down with his brother and sister-in-law to visit his Mom in Ocala. It was March, and who doesn't want to get away from New York by the time March rolls around!? We left some nasty cold weather and headed for the Florida palm trees and sunshine. Ahh. What could be better?
We flew in to one of the bigger cities, rented a good-sized sedan, and drove to Ocala.
It was a lovely visit - sight-seeing, relaxing, soaking in the sunshine...
It was lovely til we discovered something in the rental car. Something that shouldn't have been there.
I was riding in the back seat of the rental car and saw something roll out from under the front seat. A piece of plastic tubing - about a foot long. And there was a bit of liquid in it. No, it wasn't a straw. It was more like medical tubing... With,... er, um, a yellowish liquid in it.
It seems that a prior renter had left their catheter tube behind. Yes, that's right - it was a catheter tube. We had a nurse in our party, who confirmed that that was indeed our uninvited passenger.
While I'm generally a very mild-mannered person, when I face an injustice - such as a catheter tube in the rental car that's in my name - I take the gloves off. Someone would have to deal with the Wrath of Marie. I made the phonecall, explaining that our car had not been properly cleaned. I described what we had found in the vehicle, in graphic detail, and stated that we'd be exchanging our car and would require a discount for our trouble.
There were no questions asked, other than to themselves (how the ....?), and we drove away with a clean car.
Just remember that, next time you rent a vehicle. Make sure the rental company has cleaned beneath the seats. You never know what surprises may lurk there.
August 24, 2005
That's right! I have a new child. This time a fully grown woman I have known since highschool. But I am trying to get her fully birthed with blogging.
Her blog is: From Chaos to Serendipity.
Her handle is: Sticks
Her email is: chaos.n.serendipity (at) gmail.com
I have known her since high school. Yep, she has stories about me that I am worried about. ;-) But her first couple of posts are great. Teenagers and Sex, Laziness is Hard Work. Go check her out; well... at least check out her blog.
If you see some stuff missing on her links (like a LOT of stuff), that is my fault. Been a little busy. And will be for the next week or two.
More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Loved this email! Hope you enjoy it as well.
Putting Things in Perspective
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words
The TEN Commandments: 179 words
The Gettysburg Address: 286 words
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words
U.S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words!
August 23, 2005
Let's try playing with the Peach in hand.
= = = = = = =
Who's quicker at getting back and going down the slide again?
= = = = = = =
What happens if you slide down with your feet up?
= = = = = = =
Just having fun!
= = = = = = =
Don't you wish you could just play all morning?
August 22, 2005
Karnival of Kidz is Up
Hurricane Tracking Map
In the rest of the world (in particular for the USA), do you get a hurricane tracking map with your 24 pack of Aquafina? I couldn't believe that the cardboard that the Aquafina was sitting on had a map on it. Really! Here is a picture for proof:
Is this just a Florida thing?
August 21, 2005
Crayons and the Fridge
There is a valuable lesson in this post. Keep reading...
This is what happens when you go to the bathroom while your child finds a crayon.
Ready for the lesson? 409 does NOT remove crayon from the Fridge. In fact, I had to use Dawn Dish Liquid, Water and Muscle to get it off. Anyone have a better way? I feel this is going to happen again.
Here is part of the letter to Cindy Sheehan from Brantley Smith:
I am sure you believe that you are serving some great cause by putting our servicemen and women in more danger and that you can, by your irresponsible exercise of free speech, help end a policy you disagree with. Your emotion may be compelling but the reality is that you will not set in motion any process that will change or undo what has been done. The war will go on because to end it now would dishonor the sacrifice of all of our fellow countrymen who have died in the cause of fighting terrorism. Rational Americans will not allow that. Too much is at stake.
Go read it.
August 20, 2005
The Good, The Bad and no ugly
The good news: My mom is coming to visit next week and help with getting the house ready for the market. We are shooting to put it on the market by the end of the month.
The bad news: I won't be posting much. I'll try to get stuff ready for the next couple of days. But will need help after that. Which is open to others that read my blog. If anyone wants to put out a post once or twice, or even the whole time... let me know. Send an email to Happydogspeaks (at) gmail.com.
And I can't see anything ugly out of any of this. If anything, I imagine I will have a lot of blog fodder to tell you about when I can get on the computer. Nothing like packing and painting with small children around to add humor to a situation.
August 19, 2005
This poem says it best! Happy Birthday Tink.
Glad You're My Sister
I just want you to know how happy I am
to have you for a Sister
There are times.. like right now...
When I want to let you know exactly how I feel.
To put it simply, I don't just love you.. I really like you!
Even if you weren't my sister, I'd still enjoy being with you.
It's true that we've had occasional disagreements over the years,
but that's how we got to know each other better...
to respect one another's self-worth
and value each other's uniqueness
I appreciate the many ways you've helped me.
You have a real talent for knowing just when I need you the most
I know I can count on you for support and encouragement,
and you've always been able to make me feel good about myself... and life.
You brought something special to our family, too.
Life just wouldn't be the same without you...
and all the wonderful memories you've given me.
I'm so happy to have you as my sister!
Order of Succession
Hat Tip to Smoke Signals Blog
August 18, 2005
Karnival of Kidz
It's that time! I particularly like it since I'm not having to do all the work. GRIN.
Though Richmond has no clue that I'm going to do this... here is a great example of a Karnival of Kidz entry. This post called " A Conversation in my Kitchen".
I laughed out loud when I read it. Made me think of my childhood and bugs. Hmmm. Might have to post about that for next week's entry.
Also made me remember my dad blowing up Plastic Army Men when he was in his 60s. I just knew the neighbors were going to call the police. The 'bomb' he made caused the windows to shake in the house. It was fun.
Karnival of Kidz is for kids of all ages. Enjoy! Get those entries in early (due by Midnight Sunday EST). Send an email to karnival(dot)kidz(at)gmail(dot)com or fill out the form.
Packing Up Books
At one point a couple of weeks ago, my FIL (Father-in-law) was helping pack up some of my numerous shelves of books. I had him stop on one set and told him we would get that one later. Why? Because on the top shelf was a book called 'Becoming Orgasmic' and it is one of those books that the binding draws your eyes to it. I bought this about 20 years ago and have never gotten rid of it. I only remember one part out of the whole book and I'm not going to tell you. Read it if you want and come back and see if you know which part I remember. But I had to pack it up today. I didn't want the buyers seeing it either!
Then again, if they actually read all the book titles I had, I think most people would run away. Dungeon and Dragon books, How to Grow Fruit Trees, Visual Basic, C++, Patterns in Programming, Harry Potter, Star Trek, Star Wars, and a plethora of others that would make you wonder. From Finance to Fantasy, Programming to Georgette Heyer, Mormon bible to the new Testament in French, German and English, Calvin and Hobbs to Foxtrot. Things that have caught my interest or I wanted to research. I probably have it. Pack rat should be my name. Add to that, all my husband's books (who is also a pack rat), and we could start our own book store.
Do you have any books normally out that you wouldn't want potential buyers to see? If yes, what????
Cereal or Oatmeal?
My son actually chose a bowl of Cheerios over Oatmeal one morning. And it was the same morning I took pictures of Tot in his shoes.
= = = = = = =
What a cutie! It is a nice way to start the morning, no matter what he eats.
August 17, 2005
More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Oldie but goodie. Something about this one just makes me smile every time I read it.
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for mywife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?
The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does yourwife look like?"
The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
August 16, 2005
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Hat Tip to Richmond at One For The Road
Of course, I should have just looked up ENTJ and I would have known who I was. For the last 20 years I have been an ENTJ every time I have taken any form of Briggs-Meyers tests. Sigh. I was hoping to have a little more of the touchy feely in my score. You would have thought after having kids... but NOPE, not me.
Which makes me curious... what are you?
Tot Gets New Shoes
Tot grew one whole shoe size in less than 2 months. What's with this boy? Not only that, he wants to wear them as soon as he gets up in the morning. He tries to put them on himself but has trouble with the tongue of the shoe. Then he brings them to me. Here he is in his PJs and his new shoes. Hmmmm. Wonder if they are still considered new if you wear them almost around the clock for 3 days?
What size is he? 7 1/2 wide.
August 15, 2005
I had to look up the word "christen" and make sure it applied!
My son was christening our house but didn't come up with a name... well, other than "Our New House". Posting will be light over the next couple of weeks. I will try to keep the smiles about what is happening. I'm sure there will be a few as I pull my hair out trying to get everything done.
Karnival of Kidz is Up
August 14, 2005
Here is something for the kids - Coloring Pages, Mazes and More
I had more, but got to run. I'll get them out later. Hope you have a great Sunday!!
August 13, 2005
When I Need Tater to Go
I call Bou! Ok, my rhyming stinks... but so does Tater's poop. And when he is pulling the 'stall' tactic, I just pick up the phone and call Bou. I'm serious, that woman is a laxative for my son. Even if she calls here versus me calling her... he goes.
I remember in my first marriage, whenever my ex and I were fooling around, she would call. It didn't matter when; day, night, lunch... if we tried to fool around, she called. Happily, it doesn't happen with this marriage. GRIN.
Instead it is my son and his potty time. If he is trying to poop, Bou calls. Day, night. Her timing is remarkable. As well as her ability to make Tater actually go! He has sat in there for 8 minutes and never went... she calls and you hear the scream "I went Poo poo! Come see!"
Thank you Bou. Hmmmm. If I could get you to call a little earlier in the day and once at night before bedtime... GRIN.
August 12, 2005
Meteor Shower tonight
Oops, a little late getting this news out...
The 2005 Perseid Meteor Shower peaks tonight, Friday, between midnight and dawn.
This is why people move North in the summer (note the "Feels like 105F"):
Part of an Experiment
I cannot resist being part of an experiment. I found this via Random Thoughts from Mary Beth.
As part of an experiment to see how "findable" blog references are J-Walk Blog has asked bloggers to link to a post so here's my link to the J-Walk Blog Link Experiment.
It amazes me what kids will find to play with that are not toys. They have always loved playing in the hamper. This time they succeeded in ripping the side of it. But not until I got a couple of good pictures.
Here is Tot. The first instigator:
= = = = =
And then all I saw were feet! I ran over to get this picture:
= = = = =
Suddenly, Tater saw what was going on and had to join the fun:
= = = = =
And Tot took advantage of Tater trying to hide from the camera:
Carnival of Recipes is UP
ALa at blonde sagacity was kind enough to host the Carnival of Recipes. Lots of yummy food. Like Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese Squares, Mustang Momma's Hummus or Whacked Chicken. Go on... you are curious... go check it out!
August 11, 2005
Karnival of Kidz ENTRY
Being a little lazy this week, I am going to use my "It Runs In The Family" entry for my Karnival of Kidz. You do have one lined up for this week? Right? Get those entries in! I need some smiles come Monday. It feels like this week has gone on forever!
It Runs in the Family
My sister, Tink, is taking care of her grandchild, Zozo. And here is a sample of what kind of conversations you find in her household:
Do not ever, ever, ever watch the History Channel with a 6-year old unless you are prepared for the ultimate question...
Just this week I was putting ZoZo to bed and thought I would turn the TV to Radio Disney. (btw Radio Disney makes MTV look tame). Listening to a bunch of kids give the news cast at 9 p.m., was not very conducive to sleep in my humble opinion. Therefore I turned the television to the History Channel. There being a method behind my madness, I assumed that if you listened to Bach while the child was still invitro it will produce a musical genius, then surely falling asleep to the sounds of the History Channel would make for a historical genius. But I discovered that God has a twisted sense of humor and has provided one 6-year the ability to differentiate between right and wrong.
That night the HC had a show about the Holy Grail. 6-year olds are naturally inquisitive and the first ultimate question: "What is a grail?" Easy enough hon... a grail is a cup. "Why is it called Holy?" Because it is believed to have belonged to Christ, i.e. Jesus. "Who is Jesus?" Don't be silly, you know who Jesus is. A chuckle behind a hand.... "Jesus is the son of God." That's right. "Who was Jesus' mother?" The Virgin Mary. "So when did God and the Virgin Mary get married?" Well they didn't get married. "They didn't get married. Whoa, that's just wrong." ZoZo, shut up and go to sleep.
I guess I will be out looking for a priest to answer this question. And good luck to him. But then again it must run in the family. I was the one to ask the priest where the people in the land of Nod came from.... You may want to reread Genesis.
And what worries me, is I know this runs in our family. I can't imagine what my sons are going to ask me. Are all children this way?
Chicken Breast Casserole
Yes, another chicken recipe. This one I got from the Southern Heritage cookbook. It is rather bland but the family likes it and I usually have all the ingredients on hand ... even when we really need to go shopping.
1 sm pkg spaghetti
4 chicken breasts (skinless, boneless)
2 cups grated American cheese (I use whatever I have: Mozzarella, Cheddar)
1 medium onion
1/2 bell pepper
1 can cream of mushroom
1 can cream of celery soup
Cook spaghetti according to package directions and set aside. Cook chicken, set aside. Saute onion and bell pepper. Place a layer of spaghetti in a casserole dish. Then place a layer of pepper and onion, cheese, then another layer of spaghetti and more cheese. Have chicken cut in chunks. Place chicken on top. Mix together the celery soup and mushroom soup. Pour over the layers. Cook at 350F for 35 minutes.
August 10, 2005
Click for Cancer
Hat tip to Basil's Blog via Beth!
Instead of sending you to Basil, I'm going to put this information here. I will be plagiarizing from
Basil Beth and Chris... but I think they will understand.
Chris Muir of Day By Day is asking for our help. His sister Cathy is being kept alive by treatments at the American Cancer Ablation Center in Gulf Shores, Alabama, and he's asking us to raise their visibility for PR purposes. They'll have an ad to be aired on CNN cancer special on August 14th and 20th, but he's asking for our help in doing more. As often as you can for the next TEN DAYS, click on the banner (or links) and boost their visibility in search engines, and please steal the banner and/or put up a link at your sites as well.
More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Why Do Men Pee Standing Up?
God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.
He thought He might just as well ask them.
He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it.
So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left." What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Brains", said God
Click the More Pawprints to see more humor.
Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first little boy was to say, "My fair maiden.... I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope."
The second little boy was to reply by saying, "Hark! A pistol shot."
Well, on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups. The teacher told them to take their places on the stage and remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain goes up.
The curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two boys were terrified. They stood there frozen. So the teacher whispered for them to begin.
The first boy yelled out these unforgettable words....."My fair maiden.... I have come to kiss your snatch! And fill your hole with soap."
The second boy screams out....."Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot of shit, horse shit, bull shit.... I never wanted to be in this lousy play anyway...
The audience left howling.
Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room,
peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered the grave news: :There's
no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt-prepare yourself to be a
widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the women's lined face, then at the
single flickering candle and then down at her hands. She took a few deep
breathes to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune's
tellers gaze, steadied her voice and asked:" Will I be acquitted?"
August 09, 2005
I have great neighbors. They have given my kids so many things. The last go round I got the picnic table. It is extremely nice. This time, a box full of plastic bugs and a jar of plastic snakes. Oh yaa. I think this may get more entertaining over time. A couple of those bugs look pretty real.
I wonder if maybe they aren't so great? I am trying to get my house ready to sell. What happens if one of those bugs gets seen by a potential buyer? GRIN
August 08, 2005
Seizing Your Property
This is a little twisted, ok, a lot twisted. While reading the Karnival of Kidz over at Susie's Practical Penumbra, I saw a trackback to the Right Hand of God that mentioned the KoK and the Carnival of Comedy. Unable to resist the temptation to see what would be listed on this blog, I had to go over and read some of the posts. And I found one on How to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property
Unfortunately, since many of you find yourselves living in states that could care less about silly notions as "private property" (i.e. Connecticut, California, or Red China), here is a handy-dandy guide:
How-To Guide to Keep the Government from Seizing your Property
(in no particular order)
Here is a sample from the guide:
3. Piranha-Infested Moat - Centuries ago, when people wanted to defend their land, did they look to Brinks Security or ADT? Heck no. They surrounded the castle with a moat, and poured burning oil on anyone foolhardy enough to cross it. As we already noted, however, oil is a bit pricey these days, and spraying your town council with the garden hose is unlikely to have the same effect (unless the Wicked Witch of the West is on your town council, in which case it's at least worth a try). To compensate for these changes, we suggest filling your moat with piranhas.
It kept me laughing. I was wondering if having 2 children, a husband, a dog and a pony would make it worth being considered living in a waste hazard. GRIN.
Go enjoy a fun read.
I love the format Susie at Practical Penumbra used for the KoKs. Simple and easy to follow. Go CHECK OUT these great stories and pictures. Definitely will make you grin on a Monday.
Harvey Just Won't Go Away
Bet you thought I was talking about my BlogGrandpappy Harvey. But I wasn't. Did you realize that Tropical Storm Harvey is still hanging around out in the Atlantic? Geeze. I wonder if this is a trait his namesake actually has? Or maybe it's because the TS Harvey is waiting for TS Irene to catch him? Another trait of Grandpappy Harvey maybe? Will we ever know?
To The House We Go
It was time for an evening walk to the new house. Walk? Naaa. Those boys want to run!
= = = =
First we have to get through the front yard to see the house. (pssst, this is where the septic drain field is going).
= = = =
Then we have to play in what's left of the septic drain field dirt!
= = = =
Tater is KING!
= = = =
But our dog loved it too!
August 07, 2005
How Many Times
will Tater change his underwear during the course of a day? It has started. Yesterday after going to the bathroom, I noticed he wasn’t back. I went looking for him. He had just finished putting on some new underwear and sticking the old underwear BACK in the drawer.
I took the old one out and asked him why he was changing them. He said because they were dirty. I felt them. Not wet. I looked at them. Nope, not a speck of dirt. But he put on his own underwear and I was proud of him. I did have to run out and warn the in-laws and Daddy not to say anything about them being inside out. He did it himself was the important part.
Now the questions from me are… how many times will this occur a day? And how will I convince him NOT to put back the stuff he was wearing? Its bad enough I do so much laundry during the day, but to have to add even more. Along with getting the stuff out of the drawer to wash, just in case. UGH. Help me out. I will survive the changing of the underwear, but how do I teach him NOT to put the old ones back in? I have no clue where that came from. We have a hamper. He knows how to use it.
Calling All Helpers
There are no more hosts lined up for Karnival of Kidz. We need you.
It's easy. It drives traffic to your site. And you get to check out all the kid stories before anyone else!
Just send a note to karnival.kids (at) gmail.com saying that you volunteer.
Two people have offered to moderate KoK and make sure those people who offer to help out, have someone to go to and get help! For the rest of August, Amy of Prochein Amy is taking care of KoKs for me. After that we have Michele of Letters from NYC for the month of September. And it looks like Amy will be back for October. Phew. Give these women something to do. Volunteer. Help keep those Monday Smiles coming each week.
Side Note: Now you know why I'm not in sales nor writing for an advertising company. GRIN.
August 06, 2005
Carnival of Recipes is Up!
A Quick Post
Busy weekend ahead. Bought the paint yesterday for our bathrooms, need to pack up some more and get other parts straightened out. Time to get this house on the market! They have the insulation in the walls, they have started the stucco on the outside and it is getting done faster than I thought it would. What's that? Our new house.
Want a good laugh? Go visit THIS POST from Bou about cleaning your room. But you really should start with THIS POST she found at Velociworld. And my Mom would enjoy them both. I remember the first time my Mom came to visit me at work. I thought her jaw was going to hit the floor. My desk was clean, the drawers completely organized and I had organized a bunch of other stuff in the office. I can't remember exactly when she said it... but eventually she just had to ask how I could be so organized at work and such a slob at home. GRIN.
Enjoy and more later!
August 05, 2005
Sleep, oh Precious Sleep
How is it that when my children sleep through the night, I don’t? The first time in 2 weeks, both boys slept through the night. What I call sleeping through the night is the time when both boys are asleep and last night both slept from 9:30pm to 4am. Over 6 hours! And I wake up with a foot cramp around 1am. ARGHHHhhhh.
It was weird. It was on the top of my foot. I don’t ever remember having a foot cramp on the top of my foot before. But those suckers hurt as much as the ones on the bottom. Woke me up. Such is life. Hopefully with the vitamins today (and a couple of bananas), it won’t happen again. It being the foot cramp. I definitely want the boys to sleep through the night again. GRIN.
Hope everyone has a great weekend – and don’t forget to get in those Karnival of Kidz entries!
Just Being Adorable
This just cries out for you to take a picture!
= = = = = = = =
Notice the head turn... go check out the Hat picture. Pulchritudinous with or without a hat! Ok, I just couldn't resist using the big word. ;-)
August 04, 2005
People look at my boys and wonder where the blond hair came from. It came from my husband and myself. He and I are now dark haired, but not back then. Here is the proof from my side:
= = = = = = = =
Anyone remember Romper Room?
= = = = = = = = =
While my dad was in the Air Force, we had the opportunity to go to Hong Kong. Here are some pictures of me in Hong Kong:
= = = = = = = =
And of course saving the best for last... here I am at 2 months of age:
= = = = = = = =
What It Means to Turn 41
I started a humorous list of stuff, like: my knees crack when I get up, my back aches all the time, I get less sleep, I want more s.x... then I realized this applied to any woman over the age of 30. Sigh.
Instead I decided to share some Technical information of what has changed since 1964:
1964 IBM Introduced System 360 International Business Machines (IBM) introduced the system 360 Computer. The computer, which was a second generation computer based on transistors, was a huge success, and became the mainstay computer of many businesses for many years.
The hand-held pocket calculator was invented at Texas Instruments, Incorporated (TI) in 1966.
In 1967, Amana, a division of Raytheon, introduced its domestic Radarange microwave oven, marking the beginning of the use of microwave ovens in home kitchens.
A computer LAN was developed by Metcalfe in a rudimentary form in 1973 and dubbed Ethernet.
1979 Two friends, Scott Abbott and Chris Haney created a board game called Trivial Pursuit.
The World Wide Web was developed in 1989 by English computer scientist Timothy Berners-Lee to enable information to be shared among internationally dispersed teams of researchers.
Click on More Pawprints to see more of what happened in 1964.
I looked at some sites that list what happened in 1964. Things like:
# Space probe Mariner IV flies by Mars, transmitting pictures of the planet's surface back to earth
# The world's longest suspension bridge, the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in New York, opens
# Concern in Britain over "brain drain," or the mass emigration of British scientists to the U.S.
# World's Fair held in New York
# First lung transplant
# 24th Amendment to Constitution adopted, ensuring fair voting practices
# U.S. military forces launch attacks on North Vietnam in response to an alleged attack on a U.S. destroyer off the Vietnamese coast; Congress passes Gulf of Tonkin resolution that gives the President greater freedom to authorize combat actions in Vietnam
# Soviet leader Khrushchev falls from power, is ultimately replaced by Leonid Brezhnev
# Anchorage, Alaska hit by massive earthquake
# Turkey attacks Cyprus
# World Series: St. Louis over New York Yankees, 4-3
# Olympics held in Tokyo
A little more detail:
1964 Dr. King Receives Nobel Prize Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. became the second African-American to win the Nobel Peace Prize, the first having been Ralph Bunche. King, who was 35 years of age when he received the prize in Oslo, Norway, was the youngest recepient of the prize in history
And you can follow THIS LINK to see more information on the most popular TV shows, music, movies and the like.
August 03, 2005
More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Got these via email and thought I would share them. Click to Enlarge.
Humor for Dreaded Wednesday
Oldies but Goodies!
Birds of a feather flock together ... and then crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
August 02, 2005
I went out one day to see this:
And the next day. It was gone. No more pineapple. Not one sweet bite for the family. Sigh. Maybe I can get the next one picked before the 'creature' who stole this one gets to it.
The Hat Experience
Every once in a while we all have to try out something. This time it was a hat. We have had it around for a while. It was given to the kids from a BIL.
First let us start with Tater!
And he just continues to be cute!
= = = = = = = =
Next is Tot. He has to have a shot at it as well.
= = = = = = = =
And we can't leave out our Puppy dog. Ok, so he's not a puppy... but he is still precious!
August 01, 2005
Monday Smiles! KoK is UP!
Time to have some fun! You favorite 'uncle' has put his 2 cents worth into the Karnival of Kidz.
Yeah, I'm the one that teaches the kids important life skills that they can use to drive their parents crazy.
Serves 'em right for letting me babysit.
So this week, a bunch of folks are dumping their brats in my lap, and it's my job to make sure they go away a little more creative then when they arrived...
Enjoy the commentary and the stories.
What is it about flashlights that can keep someone amused? You have seen dogs chasing the light, cats chasing the light and even kids. My kids don't chase the light, but want the flashlight itself. Then they shine it on different things and try to 'touch' it. Here is proof. Yes, I was using it to amuse him while I tried to get dinner done.