More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Got these in an email and thought it appropriate for today!

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
__________
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
__________

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
__________

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
__________
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
__________
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
__________
"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"
__________

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

My Cowboy?

Tot started talking about cowboys. So... I brought out my cowboy hat and boots. Yep, I use to wear that sorta stuff. In fact I use to show horses. Scary thought huh? But I don't think I ever looked this cute in them (click to enlarge):

Pumpkin Carving

The fun of Halloween is in the preparations. This year I could not find spider web. Teach me not to go looking sooner!!! But I did a pumpkin on Tuesday and the kids and I got to carve it. I took the top off, gave them some spoons and they wouldn't touch it. No joke. "That's gross" "Ewwww".

Like any good parent (baw ha ha ha)... I grabbed some and went running after them... saying horrible things like "I'll get you with the pumpkin guts!!!" or "Doesn't this look like squished brain?"... yaa they screamed and ran. It was fun.

Then they wanted to draw the face on the pumpkin. Ok.

And here is the finished product:

I did let Tater try to carve some of it. I decided he was going to cut his hand if I didn't stop him. Oh well... maybe next year! Or maybe tomorrow... since the pumpkin got caught out in the rain this weekend.. I noticed this morning it was getting 'fuzzy' inside of it. Only a couple more days... the pumpkin should look gross right???

Oh, and my neighbor threw another dead animal in the swale. I had around 14 vultures on top of my house the other day. I thought if I had the spider web stuff up, the pumpkin and the vultures... what a perfect Halloween picture!! But such is life... didn't work out... no spider web stuff, and the vultures took off.

Gardens and Snakes

Remember Sunday when I posted THIS PICTURE about the snake? I went out later to take pictures of the garden the kids and I started... and look what I found:

here is the pictures of our garden from last Sunday...

who knows how it will go... you'll find out as it progresses!

Padwan Tot versus Darth Vader

Tater wasn't feeling good... but Tot wanted to fight with lightsabers. They have a 'training camp for upcoming Jedi (or Padwan's)'. Tot said he would do it. I cannot show in pictures how much fun it really was to watch. With his back to me, he really looked like a Padwan in that brown cape.

The 'Master' Jedi is teaching the kids the same moves... Hit the left shoulder, the right shoulder, the left knee, DUCK, the left knee, the head. Here are the practice moves for 'Duck' and the head:

And then Darth Vader appears!!!

Loved this picture:

Each kid gets to fight Darth Vader... and a couple of kids went before Tot. Disney did a great job with sound effects. They have someone pressing some buttons to make the lightsabers sound good. When the kids hit Vader's saber it makes that 'crsshhhhhh' sound. I did NOT have a camcorder. Which sucks. Because when the kids before Tot fought Vader, they barely hit his lightsaber and the 'Jedi Master' and Vader kept helping them... then it was Tot's turn. He swung that lightsaber to make major contact...

Click to enlarge and look at those feet. He was trying his best to really whack Vader. And the crowd went wild. They clapped louder than they did for the other kids... we could hear them cheering Tot on to do it again. It was frick'n hilarious. And once he got that sleeve out of the way, notice the two handed, start way back swing...

I love that they added this to the MGM park. I am also glad that Tot was willing to get up there and try it out. I was very happy he didn't balk when he had to give it all back. Phew. He still talks about fighting Vader. It was great.

Happy Birthday Hubby

It has been a long week and I'm not going to have my hubby's present done in time. I have been working on a calendar for him. My new experience with Digital Scrapbooking. I am printing it out and will try to get it put together nicely somewhere. If not, ribbon will be my friend. Here is a sample of what I'm doing... (and don't think I came up with this on my own... Sarah gives away free templates... I just add color [usually gotten from her or someone she linked to...] and pictures and a few touches of my own)

I have done January thru Oct. I just won't get it all done before today. Such is life. It has taken away from blogging time but he is worth it.

While I am not the best at writing, I will try to express how much my husband means to me for his birthday. I married this man for many reasons. He was willing to fight (or argue if you prefer) with me like an adult. Looking into my eyes, sitting beside me and willing to listen as well as to explain his point of view. He was willing to go to marriage counseling at the church before we got married. He understood I had an issue with money and never blinked when it was time to pay the bills. He just handed me money and said have at it. He listens to me about the budget, about the kids, about my frustrations of being a stay at home mom.

He also deals well with how stupid I feel some days and how fat and ugly. Yes, I gained a lot of weight after having children... 25 pounds. On a 5' 1" body, that put me on the 'obese' side of the chart. It bothers me and I work at trying to lose it. And he supports whatever my road is at the time.

He makes me smile. He still can make my heart flutter when he turns on the charm. When I look at him, I can't help but feel that wonderful warm fuzzy that happens after knowing and living with someone for a long time and still liking them.

When I see him with the boys, that smile on all of their faces, it makes me realize I am in the right place. Because they always include me in it. Thank you Husband for being who you are and being a part of my life. I wish you the best of birthdays.

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

This was in the News yesterday. A Woman that lives in Galesburg was weed-eating her lawn. She accidentally cut off the tail of her favorite Cat.

She rushed her Cat along with the tail over to the new Super Wal-Mart!

You might ask, why Wal-Mart ?

Wal-Mart is the largest Retailer in town !!!

Don't shoot the messenger please....

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

This has been around a few times but I just can't help but smile when I see some of these:

This is what sad looks like...

This is what sorry looks like...

This is a Pile Up!

This is going to hurt!

Let me Explain!

Epcot is Fun for Youngsters

Well... it is if they are at least 40 inches tall. Better yet if you can avoid the Nemo ride. It sucks. Rotten eggs. But for some reason the boys love it. And at the end we got these cool pictures (though I would prefer to have them hanging their butt out towards me. GRIN

With Tater into Dinosaurs... we ended up at the 45 minute long Energy Adventure ride. It has dinosaurs.

Luckily, the boys were tall enough to try out Test Track!!!

The boys did enjoy the Innovations. Particularly the robots making music with car parts. Tot had a major meltdown when it was time to leave there... ugh.

We were able to go on The Living with The Land ride before lunch. I love the last half of that ride. Why that ride before lunch, because I was able to get reservations at the Garden Grill. A rotating restaurant with characters... that is in the same building. Yipee!!!

Psst... is it Chip or Dale? Not cheating.. the boys actually knew which one it was and told us how they figured it out.

By the end of the day (around 2pm)...

After a 30 minute quiet time at the timeshare with some bananas, grapes the like... time for the pool!!! It really was fun.

Disney Is Fun - Day 1

Particularly when you get a chance to relax and enjoy it. We got to the parks about the time they opened, got strollers, and headed out. We had lunch sometime around noon and left the parks by 2pm. Yep, it was a great trip.

The first day was Magic Kingdom. The first ride? Buzz Lightyear... poor hubby got stuck with both boys. They wanted to be with Daddy. Bawhahahaha...

We also went on a new one called Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor... it was interactive and pretty funny. But we didn't take pictures there.

Who can resist the Indy Speedway? Possibly me if I have to ride with Tot again. He thought it was fun to bump against the wonderful safety rail in the middle. Bump, Bump, bump, bump. My hubby was laughing so hard when we got off... he asked me if I was in one piece....

Start your engines!

Let go of the wheel after turning it as far as it goes... guess what happens??? Tot has a huge grin and Mom has an aching back!

Occasionally my brain actually works and I remember things. Like making reservations... We had reservations at the Crystal Palace for lunch. It wasn't our first time eating there... in 2005 we went (see THIS POST) and again in 2006 (see THIS POST)... and now in 2007, some more pictures for your viewing pleasure.

And for those Pooh fans (Bou and CalTechGirl)...

Of course we left shortly after this to head back to the time share. Did I mention a friend let us have their time share? Ahhh... It was great... the pool was perfect for our kids... and being on the 6th floor... not so noisy at night.

More in the days to follow!

With a Snake Snake Here...

Nothing like having my hubby have to work the weekend to find all the fun stuff at my house. I burned some oil in a pan yesterday. I know our fire alarms work. I also know that I should have walked out of the house with that pan a whole lot faster since I can't reach the reset button for those darn things.

And today? We went to home depot to buy some vegies for the garden. We planted tomatoes, green peppers and strawberries. We also planted carrot, bean, cucumber, corn and pumpkin seeds. Yaa, a little late but the boys wanted to and it wasn't that expensive.

After helping me for about 20 minutes, they were done. I sent them to the playground. It's a fort with a slide and swings. It also has 'cup' holders in it... yaa... take a look:

Nope, don't have leather gloves... not going to move it. No it is not poisonous. But it would hurt if it bit me. It's a man's job... right????

Ok, I'm still trying to crop pictures and get stories of Disney together... but had to share this one right now... what a day.

This is NOT my Work...

For those who read my sister's blog, this will be a repeat for you. For those who don't... at the end of most of her posts she puts a scrapbook page. I stole a bunch from her and put them out here. This is how she does a trip to Disney (We met her there last year)... and in the following days you'll see how I do it. You'll discover she has the creative gene and I'm anal retentive... GRIN...

Tink calls my hubby Brains. Yep I married a man that is smart. Of course! Though he is just a little different in that he is not 'structured' like most smart engineers and is very creative. Opposites attract... Hey.. I'm smart, I'm just anal retentive on the structured part. ;-)

Ok, I'm throwing this one in here just for fun!

We Made It Home!

Thought I would let everyone know we are back home safe and sound. Here is the first picture I took (out of the 300):

There are a ton of stories. From the stinky car to Tater throwing up on me. Yep... and the enjoyment of the kids being tall enough to ride most of the rides!!! More later... Hubby had to go to work this morning and I have the kids...

Another note: While I had my pc with me and some access to the internet, I spent my time working on Hubby's Birthday present. He's going to get older soon and I'm not sure I'm going to have it finished before his birthday gets here, even with all the extra time I worked on it this last week.

Also, I missed seeing wRitErsbLock this last week. She tried to stalk me... but with the sick kid and the strange hours we kept (the boys were in bed by 7pm), it made it close to impossible. Hopefully next time or if she comes this way!

Oops, I

miscounted. I actually missed two days... the 14th and the 16th. Oh well, such is life. Still haven't heard from the bug, but I am sure that means she is having a swell time in the pirate pool (btw bug, I didn't see any pirates in the pictures you sent). I also presume this means that Tater has recovered from his bout with the fever.

They are trying to make the best of it this time as Tater will be in first grade next year and they will not be able to just pack up and go whenever they want again. Must be hard, NOT.... What does she think we normal (or abby normal, if you prefer) people do all the time.

Oh darn, I just realized I picked up the anti-flu Kleenex(r). I really hate them. The citric acid, or maybe its the sodium lauryl sulfate, makes my nose burn.

Oh, sorry about that, totally off topic. Now what were we talking about. Oh yes, Bug and her worries about not being able to just pack up and go to Disney or Sea World or etc. No doubt the potatoes will adjust just fine, so it must be some latent genetic disorder of Bug's that makes her insists she must visit these places at least once a month. She must have gotten from Brains, because I know for a fact that a latent genetic disorder of this magnitude does not exist in my side of the family. And since she happens to be a part of my side of the family, it only stands to reason that she picked up via osmosis from Brains. Though I guess it is possible she caught it from her ex. Yeah, let's blame him. Ex's are always good for placing blame. (Hi ex, you know I'm only kidding, right? right? LOL).

Duh....

I forgot to ask when the Bug, brains and the potatoes would be back. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Saturday, maybe Sunday. Who knows? In the meantime she has left it up to me to fill in for her and so far I felt I have been doing a good job. I only missed one day. So what if I post late in the afternoon instead of at the break of dawn like she would. And it's not my fault ImageShack doesn't want to cooperate and let me load pictures of their vacation for all the world to see. (I think she must have made a deal with them. What do you think?)

Anyway, I'm not really sure when she is expected back and in the mean time I will try to make sure I regale you with my wit of boredom and see whom I can make yawn the loudest.

More on the beloved elephand:

The largest elephant on record was an adult male African elephant. It weighed about 24,000 pounds (10,886 kilograms) and was 13 feet (3.96 meters) tall at the shoulder! Most elephants don't get that large, but African elephants grow larger than Asian elephants. ~San Diego Zoe

Dreaded Wednesday Humor

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants.
The British submitted a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire."
The French submitted a text "The Sensuality of the Elephant -- a Personal Account."
The Germans submitted 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear."
The Americans submitted an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s"
Green-Peace submitted a counter-entry "Elephants -- they're better than People"
The Russians submitted a terse manuscript titled "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant" and a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant."
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"

Day Three, Day Four, Oh I Forgot

Well, the Bug must certainly be enjoying herself. I have not heard from her but once since they got there. And when I did, she sounded more relaxed than I have heard her in a long while. So to celebrate her newfound mojo:

How did the elephant hide in the cherry tree?

He painted his toenails red, silly.

Sheee's Gone

Okay, Bug has bugged out for awhile since she opted a friend's timeshare in Orlando. Last I heard she had gotten them all lost on their way back to the condo.

Did I ever tell you NOT to take directions from Bug? Well don't. Pan and I went down to the Big O one time and she met us there. We were all going out that night and between Bug and Pan we ended up going around a pond for nearly half an hour. (Pan doesn't have a compass in his brain either, unless, of course he is playing a video game.)

So there we are driving round and round and round and round and round this pond while they were trying to figure how to get out. Finally I had to step in (not literally) and tell them to take the next right, the next left and finally another right where we ended up nearly right in front of the place we wanted to be.

So if you plan on meeting the Bug in Orlando, don't get directions from her.

MIC - See ya real soon

KEY - Why? Because we are off on vacation.

Now I know there are some people with access to my blog... you are welcome to post while I'm gone. And the rest of you just remember to leave me a male maid to clean up any mess. ;-)

See you in a week!

A Mother's Revenge

I must remember that my mother is one smart lady. And she always warned me that what goes around, comes around... and all those other wonderful sayings...

I was on my way to Walmart on Tuesday when I called Mamaw. I told her that Tot was going to be allowed a $3 to $5 toy since it was his birthday. She remembered we had bought Tot a new bike and suggested a bike horn. (Most of you can see where this is going already can't you?). I thought it was a great idea. When we made it to the toy / bike section, I showed him the bike horns. There were two. A cute little one and the big honk the black bulb one. Yaa. I have a boy. We got the noisy one. He also asked if this brother could have one. Why not, it was only $3.

I think my brain shut off about that time. Self preservation? He wanted it as we finished our shopping. I let him have it. Not the smartest move. He beeped that horn all through the store. He had the biggest grin and was enjoying himself. Yaa... it was his birthday, why not?

At some point he was right behind me with it pointed to my rear as he beeped it. I stopped to ask him what he was doing. There was a man standing about 5 feet away, we made eye contact and he had a smile on his face. I'm sure he heard this conversation:

Mom: What are you doing?
Tot: Beeping your butt!!! Beep Beep
Mom: *blink* **why did I bother to ask this?**

The gentleman just about lost it when he heard the response. I saw him turn and walk away while trying not to laugh out loud.

Some days I just wonder where my brain went???

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Why do Elk have such long antlers?

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Some of these will have to be seen if you click 'more pawprints'... because they are not work safe...

Tot Turns Four

The years keep going by and you keep getting older. You kept your belly laugh that makes me smile from ear to ear when I hear it. You know so much more than you did just last year. About 75 site words, some addition, and how to drive mom even crazier.

I remember last year how you didn't want to leave me when you went to preschool... and this year you walked in, started to play, and didn't even look at me. I had to go over to you to get a kiss goodbye. You didn't even blink an eye.

You have a temper but are looking at how to make good choices now. I love how you think things out and always seem to think outside the box. You keep me on my toes and you keep Tater hopping.

Yet, you had no problems letting him be right beside you when it came time to light the candles on the cake...

And I must put the candles closer to you next time. Good thing your asthma has cleared up! GRIN...

I love you Tot. Happiest of Birthdays!

Three Red Eyes

Some days it just doesn't pay to be a mom. I convinced Tot that he did N.O.T. want Luke Skywalker with the black hand on his cake. I did convince him that R2-D2 would be cool. I mean... how hard can it be to do a robot? Right? Uhhh... I must remember to look at the pictures a little closer next time. Seems that R2-D2 does not have 3 red eyes, but 1 red eye and 2 silver. Such is life. Here is the cake I made for Tot...

Did I mention that there was not enough icing to finish the cake. I had to make more. Yaa... I had some mess...

But the boys loved it...

Criticism?

There is a Zen blog that I read. Sometimes it helps me keep focused on what is important in life, other times I just can't relate. But I can with this POST. It never hurts to be reminded nice ways to do things. Here is a piece of it:

So instead of criticizing, which is rarely taken well, offer a specific, positive suggestion. Let’s take a look at the elements of this method, why it works, and how to do it:

• Suggestion, not criticism. As people sometimes will assume that you’re attacking them personally, no matter how nice your criticism and how much you focus on actions, a criticism is often not the way to go if you want 1) for them to improve; 2) to see actual change; or 3) to contribute to a meaningful discussion. Instead, suggest a change. A suggestion can be positive, it can be seen as helpful, it can be seen as an instrument for improvement and change. People often take suggestions well (but not always). So a suggestion is more useful than a criticism in many cases. Not always — sometimes it can be useful to give a nice criticism if someone is open to it. But in many cases, a suggestion is better.


• Positive. Much criticism is negative. That hurts the discussion, because things can take an ugly turn from there. It hurts the person receiving it, making it less likely that they’ll take it as a way to change. Instead, be positive: “I’d love it if …” or “I think you’d do a great job with …” or “One thing that could make this blog even better is …”. And don’t do it in a sarcastic way … be genuinely positive. This keeps the discussion positive, and people are more likely to receive it in a positive way.

Just Not at School

Seems that when my son decided to take a bath the other day, superheroes were on his mind. We started the conversation and it went something like this (be patient, it's worth is):

Tater: Mom, if someone shoots me in the belly button twice, you'll hear this sound (and some weird noise came out of his mouth) and an explosion comes out like this (picture hands starting at belly and going outward).

Mom: Only if you get shot twice?

Tater: **looking down** yep, but don't worry, if they cut off my pe-nis, it grows out really big and I can whack them with it... **demonstrates by taking both hands and 'whacking' a toy off the side of the tub** then it goes back to normal size.

Mom: **bou blink and trying not to laugh** oh...

Tater: Don't worry mom you can do it too...

Mom: Uhh. Nope, I'm a girl. I don't have a pe-nis.

Tater: Ohhh... just pretend. **looking down again** OHHHHH you can use your toes.

and the conversation continued with what noises would occur if the shot came to his left side or his back. It was very funny and he was very into this whole "What happens to a hero once he gets shot" thing. But I can tell you now that I wanted to laugh so hard and just couldn't do it because he was having so much fun talking to me.

When I told Mamaw about this, the first thing out of her mouth was what if he talks about this to his friends at school. I can see my first conference being with the Teacher and my son's super pe-nis. **snicker snicker** Ok, I snicker here, but I would be hard put on what to say or do if I get that call.

I Want This Problem

Trust me when I say I have had a really tough week... hence, I want this problem:

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman, "I couldn't help but notice" he said, " that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you," she replied. "I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm"

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.

"I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "Black Pepper."

Ninja - Turtle?

Not enough time to write about the kids so I took a quiz. Saw it at Contagion's. Was stupid enough to see what Bou got on hers before taking mine... I shouldn't have bothered. Bou and I seem to get the same answer on a lot of these quizzes - though I do wonder how I ended up with Drug Lord second... ewwww. Sigh. Here's mine:

What should you be doing for a living?! created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ninja Assassin You are MADE to be a ninja!! Quit your job immediately!! You are ready to kill people for money...they'll never even know you're there. Stay low so as not to be detected!! Ninja Assassin 83% Drug Lord 78% Mafia Boss 68% Cowboy Outlaw 60% An Old Prospector 58% Pirate Captain 53% Break-dancing Machine 48% Pretty Princess 18%

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Sticks sent me this and I thought it appropriate as I walked outside last night at 7:30pm and at weather dot com it said that it was 87F and felt like 92F... I got attacked by mosquitoes as well. Definitely the South...

Yankee's Diary Review: Moving South

May 30 :

Just moved to Mobile, Alabama from Syracuse , NY . Now, this is a city that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a park while lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14 :

Really heating up. Got to 100 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. The yard is a breeze to maintain! No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love living in Mobile

July 10:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 degrees all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy, but getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.

July 15:

Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson, though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20:

Morgan (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson, though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer! And it's hot as hell! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz, and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order the parts.

July 30:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. The monthly house payment is $1,500 and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4:

It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today for a cost of $900. The temperature gets down to 78 degrees, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95 degrees. I hate this stupid city.

August 8:

If another wise ass person cracks, "Hot enough for you today? I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!

August 9:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

August 10:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for two damn months, and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so I might as well watch $1,700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the damn pool. Not even cactus can live in this damn heat.

August 14:

Welcome to HELL!!!
The temperature got to 105 degrees today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking South. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Not sure if I really think this is funny or not:

A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE

Pythagorean theorem: 24 words

The Lord's Prayer: 66 words

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words

The 10 Commandments: 179 words

The Gettysburg Address: 286 words

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26911 words

Can You Do It?

Got this in an email... and made it to 10 seconds... but had to give it up and get work done around the house... how about you? What's your highest score?

This will drive you nuts!! Have fun!

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!!

UPDATED: For some reason it blended into the green background... oopss...

The Game

Still Lucky

Seems my luck is still holding out. Tot is helping put away the flatware, put the dirty laundry in the washer and... vacuum...

Ahhhh... now if it would just make it faster to get it done. GRIN