I Want to Join the Bad Example Clan Because...

... just because I want to put a quote up from Harvey... I'm going to join the loosely based Scottish notion Clan. Then again I have to put up that weird BLUE tartan banner. Couldn't be green huh? Geeze.

Growing Pains

Why is growing up so difficult. I hate it. But I love watching my children. Tater has decided he does not need to sit on the booster chair anymore. He is a 'Big Boy'. And once that happpened... Tot moved to the booster chair and out of the high chair. Sigh.

Which means they both sit at the table together. On the same side. I did it so I could watch both at once. What I didn't realize is how easy it would be for them to reach each other. Pinch, Hit, Take each others food, Push off the chair. All new games to add to each dining experience and mom's frustrations. Oh yes... A new level has been reached at this household. Any ideas on how to keep the fighting to a minimum?

humor

There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. Since it was quite hot and he was thirsty, he decided to stop.

Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass.

Well, he thought that it was a very small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all he could drink, he decided to get some anyway.

He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up."

The kid replied, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."

To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime."

"It is," the little boy replies, "that's all you can drink for a dime."

The Answer is:

Two out of three prefer Cheerios to Raisin Bran

Yaa... this is what you get when I'm sick. ;-) ;-) Not bad for a 12 year old.

The Moral of The Story

Tink, my sis, sent this to me. Her daughter, D, made this up when she was about 12 years old.

Once upon a time in a city far, far away in a little pink house lived a
little lady. She spent her days tootling around in her little pink car and
cleaning her little pink house.

On one eventful day after eating her meal in her little pink dining room,
the little lady took a bath in her little pink bathroom with its little pink
sink, little pink toilet, little pink tub and little pink shower curtain.
After her bath she put on her little pink robe and little pink slippers and
brushed her teeth with her little pink toothbrush. Since it was still fairly
early the little lady decided to go down to her little pink den and read a
book.

When she got to her little pink den, she walked across her little pink
rug to her little pink chair and sat down. She took off her little pink
slippers, curled up in the little pink chair, turned on her little pink lamp
and proceed to read.

She was about a quarter of the way through the book when her doorbell
rang. She put her book on her little pink table, put on her little pink
slippers, walked across the little pink rug to the little pink foyer and
opened the little pink door. On the little pink doorstep was a man dressed
in blue. He said that his car had broken down and did she have a room for
the night.

The little lady invited the man into her little pink foyer and walked him
to her little pink stairs. Once upstairs she showed him to the first pink
door on the right. In the room was a little pink rug, a little pink dresser,
a little pink night stand, a little pink lamp, a little pink bed with little
pink sheets, little pink blankets, little pink pillows and a little pink
comforter. Little pink curtains hung from a little pink window.

After showing the man to his room, the little lady decided to go back
downstairs and finish her book. When she got to her little pink den, she
walked across her little pink rug to her little pink chair and sat down. She
took off her little pink slippers, curled up in the little pink chair,
turned on her little pink lamp and proceed to read.

She was about half of the way through the book when her doorbell rang.
She put her book on her little pink table, put on her little pink slippers,
walked across the little pink rug to the little pink foyer and opened the
little pink door. On the little pink doorstep was a man dressed in green. He
said that his car had broken down and did she have a room for the night.

The little lady invited the man into her little pink foyer and walked him
to her little pink stairs. Once upstairs she showed him to the first pink
door on the left. In the room was a little pink rug, a little pink dresser,
a little pink night stand, a little pink lamp, a little pink bed with little
pink sheets, little pink blankets, little pink pillows and a little pink
comforter. Little pink curtains hung from a little pink window.

After showing the man to his room, the little lady decided to go back
downstairs and finish her book. When she got to her little pink den, she
walked across her little pink rug to her little pink chair and sat down. She
took off her little pink slippers, curled up in the little pink chair,
turned on her little pink lamp and proceed to read.

She was about three quarters of the way through the book when her
doorbell rang. She put her book on her little pink table, put on her little
pink slippers, walked across the little pink rug to the little pink foyer
and opened the little pink door. On the little pink doorstep was a man
dressed in yellow. He said that his car had broken down and did she have a
room for the night.

The little lady invited the man into her little pink foyer and walked him
to her little pink stairs. Once upstairs she showed him to the second pink
door on the left. In the room was a little pink rug, a little pink dresser,
a little pink night stand, a little pink lamp, a little pink bed with little
pink sheets, little pink blankets, little pink pillows and a little pink
comforter. Little pink curtains hung from a little pink window.

The little lady decided she would finish her book in bed, so proceeded
down the little pink hall, she entered her little pink bedroom, with the
little pink rug, a little pink dresser, a little pink night stand, a little
pink lamp, a little pink bed with little pink sheets, little pink blankets,
little pink pillows and a little pink comforter, where little pink curtains
hung from a little pink window. She put on a little pink nightshirt and hung
up her little pink robe and put her little pink slippers in her little pink
closet. She turned on the little pink lamp, pulled back the little pink
comforter, little pink blankets and little pink sheets and crawled into her
little pink bed, pulling the little pink sheets, little pink blankets and
little pink comforter up over her and finished her book. She laid her book
on her little pink nightstand, set her little pink clock, turned off her
little pink lamp and went to sleep.

When her little pink clock went off in the morning, she got out of her
little pink bed, dressed in her little pink jeans and little pink blouse,
putting on little pink sandals. She put her little pink nightshirt into her
little pink hamper and made her little pink bed by pulling up the little
pink sheets, little pink blankets and little pink comforter and placing
little pink pillows along the little pink headboard. Now it was time to exit
the little pink bedroom, go down the little pink hallway and down the little
pink stairs and through the little pink archway to the little pink kitchen,
with its little pink refridgerator, little pink stove, little pink sinks,
little pink drawers and little pink cabinets. She opened one little pink
cabinet and took out three little pink bowls and put them on the little pink
table. Then she opened a little pink drawer and took out three little pink
spoons and put them on the table.

The first man in blue came down to the little pink kitchen and sat in a
little pink chair at the little pink table. The little lady asked him what
he would like for breakfast. He said Cheerios. So she poured the Cheerios in
to a little pink bowl, took a little pink jug of milk from the little pink
refridgerator and poured some over the Cheerios and set it on the little
pink table in front of the man in blue, who proceeded to pick up a little
pink spoon and eat.

The second man in green came down to the little pink kitchen and sat in a
little pink chair at the little pink table. The little lady asked him what
he would like for breakfast. He said Raisin Bran. So she poured the Raisin
Bran in to a little pink bowl, took a little pink jug of milk from the
little pink refridgerator and poured some over the Raisin Bran and set it on
the little pink table in front of the man in green, who proceeded to pick up
a little pink spoon and eat.

The third man in yellow came down to the little pink kitchen and sat in a
little pink chair at the little pink table. The little lady asked him what
he would like for breakfast. He said Cheerios. So she poured the Cheerios in
to a little pink bowl, took a little pink jug of milk from the little pink
refridgerator and poured some over the Cheerios and set it on the little
pink table in front of the man in blue, who proceeded to pick up a little
pink spoon and eat.

And the moral of this story is................................................

Go ahead and guess. I'll give you the 'moral of the story' D made up tomorrow.

Mom Is Sick

Who knows what cold I caught and where. I feel like crud, look like crud, sound like crud. Will post more good things about the kids later. Or maybe some humor as it comes into my email. Nothing that requires a lot of thought.

Back log of Recipes

My how time flies. I missed posting 4 Carnival of Recipes. And the people I usually go to and get the old ones are ALSO missing the last 4. Geeze. Hence, I am putting them out for those who love to browse them (like myself).

Carnival of Recipes #71

Carnival of Recipes #72

Carnival of Recipes #73

Carnival of Recipes #74

Weak Stomaches Beware

My Brother-In-Law (BIL) sent me THIS ARTICLE. Here is just a quote from it:

That ice cream you're eating or the lipstick you're wearing just might contain extract from crushed bugs. On purpose.

It made me sick initially. Then I realized I had been eating crushed bugs for years... oh well. I'll survive. To be honest... I would rather NOT know that a product is using crushed bugs for the coloring. Yuck.

Weekend Fun

Hat Tip to CalTechGirl

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 85% Iron Man 85% Supergirl 72% Green Lantern 60% Superman 60% Robin 57% Wonder Woman 57% The Flash 55% Catwoman 50% Batman 35% Hulk 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

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Ten Top Trivia Tips

Joining in on all the fun... I decided to post what I got for VW Bug. I didn't get to light up your life like That1Guy.... but it certainly made me laugh to see what I did get.

Grammar and the Internet

Found THIS LINK over at Gray Monk. I must say I LOL'd when I read it. GRIN. Find out what happened to Grammar on the internet by reading THIS LINK.

Riddles from Will

There is a blog I try to read fairly often... it is called The Lazy Will. The other day, this 10 year old asked some riddles. I did not know the answers to them... do you? Go on over and show him that adults can figure out riddles (just not this adult).

(and be nice, it is a child's blog)

A Long Day

I must remember that just because I'm at home with the kids, does not mean I can go and do a ton of things. Yesterday wiped me out. Today, you get this little post because I wasn't up to uploading the cute pictures last night, nor look through my humor.

What did we do yesterday? Breakfast with Bou, go to the park, go to music lessons, deal with mortgage companies, builders, movers to get estimates (that didn't show up), get medicine from the pharmacy (which is close to hubby's work but opposite direction of everything else today), water the grass at the new house, feed the children, clean up quick because they wanted to show the house between 6 and 7pm... walk the children and dog... show back up at the house at 6:30pm hoping they had seen the house... throw the boys in the bath, get them out and hear a knock at the door. The people are here to see the house. I'm alone with a 140 pound dog who is friendly, 2 wet naked boys and I look like crap. Oh yes. It was a long day.

Did I mention I was suppose to get Tater a helmet for school? Another long story. I lucked out... my bike helmet seems to fit him. Scary but true. Now is my head small or my child's big?

Lesson in Laundry

When you go to get laundry out of the dryer and move wet laundry over to the dryer, you must do it in two steps. Remove the laundry out of the dryer and take it back in to the family room. Check on children. Then go and move the wet laundry to the dryer. If not... this is what you may see when you get back:

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Magnet letters everywhere. I'm still not sure if I found them all.

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

An oldie but goodie:

TODDLER PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm doing or building something, ALL the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it IS mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's YOURS.

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

For my family... (and for everyone else, the 'inside' joke here is that my Mom was silly enough to buy me a 101 Elephant Joke book before we took a car trip from Illinois to Florida. I thought they were hilarious and read them out loud over and over and over... the book got 'lost' somewhere along the way).

Q: Why do elephants float down the river on their backs?
A: So they won't get their tennis shoes wet.

Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait until Autumn.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: To hide in cherry trees.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.

Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a pickle?
A: Their color of course!

Q: What kind of elephants live at the North Pole?
A: Cold ones.

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they'd look silly carrying suitcases.

Q: What is convenient and weighs 20,000 pounds?
A: An elephant six-pack.

Q: What is the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
A: About three thousand miles.

Q: What do elephants take when they get hysterical?
A: Trunkquilizers.

Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
A: You can't make a paper airplane out of an elephant.

Q: How do elephants talk to each other?
A: By 'elephone.

Q: Why do elephants have cracks between their toes?
A: For carrying their library cards.




Sick of them yet?




Q: What is grey, has large wings, a long nose, and gives money to elephants?
A: The Tusk Fairy.

Q: Where do elephants with skincare problems go?
A: Pachydermatologists.

Q: What's red & white on the outside, and grey on the inside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup.

Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.

Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red and white on the outside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.

Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.

(No, I did not make this one up!)
Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

Q. Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A. To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

Ok, enough already... Did you really make it this far? You are one sick puppy! ;-)

Potty Training Boys

While Tater is potty trained, Tot is not. And my Mom saw THIS on HGTV. That's right. A toddler urinal called Peter Potty. No plumbing required.

I would have loved to have this with Tater if it really would have helped him to learn how to Pee in the potty faster. Besides, it is just too funny. Can you imagine your family and friends going into the bathroom and seeing it?

Wonder if my Hubby would consider getting one for Tot? We could take it on trips! I could take it out in the yard while we are playing! hahahaha. I imagine you all can think of uses for it as well.

The Four Things

I was tagged by BlueTige! Teach me to leave comments on blogs. I like lurking around better.

Four Jobs That I've Had:
1. Horsebackriding instructor
2. Radio Shack Trash 80 repairman
3. IT support of Email
4. Customer Support of new Data telecom equipment/software

Four Movies I can watch over and over again:
1. Lady and The Tramp
2. The Bishop's Wife (old black & white)
3. Any James Bond movie
4. Any Monty Python

Four T.V. Shows I love to watch:
1. Uhhhh... next time ask about Authors I love to read
2.
3.
4.

Four Website's I read Daily:
1. News
2. my RSS feeds (which is up to 69 now)
3. emails (yes, plural)
4. see #1,2,3

Four Places I've Been on Vacation:
1. Vancouver
2. Zermatt
3. Orlando
4. My mom's house

Four Favorite Foods:
1. Anything Chocolate
2. Thai food
3. Japanese food
4. Anything my mom makes

Four places I’d rather be (at this precise moment?)
1. In the woods walking
2. Next to my Hubby
3. Hugging my children
4. In a bed and asleep

Most everyone I know has been tagged... if you haven't... tag yourself and give it a shot.

The Ride Home

On the way to Grandma and Pop's, Tot fell asleep. They had both been eating lollipops... and it made for a cute picture (click to enlarge):

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Tater waited until we left Grandma and Pop's to fall asleep. He should have known better. (click to enlarge)

The Autograph Book

Tink bought Tater an autograph book. It was amazing how quickly he caught on to how that worked.

King Louie ate Tater's autograph book!!! Of course he had to cough it up again and give it back. King Louie isn't able to sign the books... so he plays around with them. I wish I had been on the other side so you could have seen Tater's face! (click to enlarge pictures)

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and after the autograph from Pluto, Tater hugged him:

Wonderful Time

Funny how when we started out, Tater was glued to Mom or Dad. But as the day progressed... he decided he liked Z better. She was great with him as well. It's hard to believe how much she paid attention to him and talked to him. Made the trip well worth it. And here is a picture of the two:

6 Months Is All It Takes

Amazing. 6 months ago and Tot would have been running in the other direction from any character he saw. This time he actually walked up and hugged Pinocchio. Just too cute for this mom:

Like Totally Dude

Have you been to Disney World lately? No? You gotta go. Are you a total geek? Yes? Then you have to go check out the newest entertainment at Epcot. Turtle Talk with Crush. Totally awesome. This is Crush the surfer dude turtle from Nemo. My hubby and I are still discussing how they got Crush to talk to the kids. It is v.e.r.y interactive. Did you record a bunch of words and have someone type them in? How is he able to do the names of the children so well? Or is it someone on a microphone? Then how is the mouth of the turtle doing so well at moving with the words? I'm telling you... this is great for a geek as well as children under the age of 8. Not sure if older kids would really care.

And I can't let you go without showing you a picture of Tater and his Cousin Z. Here is a picture of the kids in front of the Living Seas:

Back from Mickey World

Had a blast visiting with in-laws and my sister. More later... nice to be home.

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Some old, some new... all made me smile.

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

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2. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

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3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

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4. There are three religious truths:
    a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
    b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
    c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

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5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

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6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

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7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

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9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

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10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

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11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

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13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

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14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

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15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .they're cramming for their final exam.

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16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

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17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they j ust put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

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19. You never really learn to swear until you start working for Texas Dept Of Corrections.

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20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

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21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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22. Whatever happened to Preparation A through G? (this one may need to be read twice?.it will come to you)

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23. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
"THEIRS"? (It so clear now! )

Toys for Mom

Every mom has toys that she would love to have... here are a couple of mine (click on link to see pictures and descriptions):

Bluetooth Keyboard

Or Powerpocket, Foldable Portable Solar

Or these Cube World, Digital Interactive Stick People... which probably wouldn't have interested me as much until I read that they fart. I know the men in my life would love it. And I would need at least 3.

And this is just too cool... a tape timer.

Any one of these Kitchen Items would be great.

What about you? Any toys you would love to have but would never spend the money on it?

50/50

Interesting.. I did something similar about a year ago and got more male than female... and how about you? Are you female? Male? Does it match?

Stressed? Who Me?

There are many options out there for posts, but instead... I'm going to give you some quotes from one of my favorite writers... Isaac Asimov:

"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them. " -- Isaac Asimov

"Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once." --Isaac Asimov

"To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. " --Isaac Asimov

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. Nothing worth writing about, but enough to drive me crazy and make me "human". For the next couple of days, you will get some odd posts. Yes, I will post about my kids. But occassionally you will get quotes, quizzes or anything odd thing that pops into my mind. I also might take a couple of days off and go visit my sister and in-laws in Orlando. She is down for the week. Who knows? Not me. But if I do visit her, I'm sure I will have great blog fodder... Tink, Pan, and their granddaughter... me, hubby and my two boys. Oh yaa. It could be interesting.

Sing?

I received this humor in an email:

Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet." "How come," asked Lars? "Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing."

and the first that came to my mind was: "Did my mom want me to play the clarinet so I couldn't sing while playing music?". If you have ever heard me sing, you would completely understand that statement. I use to be able to play a clarinet, read music and even play a few songs on the piano... but sing? Most everyone will ask me to stop... even my own child, Tater... and he's only THREE. GRIN

Something To Make You Smile

While at Mamaw's house, some cute pictures were taken by Tink... here is a couple (click to enlarge):

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And from Tot... the only way to swing:

Best Of Blogs

Seems I was an ostrich with my head in the sand. I had missed the Best of Blogs voting had started. Go on over and check it out HERE. I voted for Fighting Inertia in the Best Overall Blog. If you have not read her before... go check out her blog. She has some great stories.

Tot to the Rescue

Our poor Happy Dog has to put up with two boys. At least Tot tries to come to the rescue and give him some water...

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I don't think it is exactly how Happy Dog likes to drink his water, but it is the thought that counts - right? GRIN

It Had To Happen Sometime

I am #11 for Monkey Butt Sniffing Finger. Give me a Break! I guess I should be happy I wasn't #1. I will blame this on GuyK. He just had to put something in my comments on Butt Sniffing. GRIN. Yaa, I bet I move up in the ranks now that I have this post.

Slot Machine? Piggy Bank?

Help!!! Seriously, I need some help. Tot decided to use the car DVD player as a slot machine. Or piggy bank. Tater showed him how to open the ash tray... which in my car is full of change. Tot then proceeded to see how many coins he would put in the DVD player before Mom noticed. I don't know if it is 2 or more coins. But no matter... I need a way to get them out. The little turd.

Any ideas?

What Is It?

What is it? A dinosaur or a dragon? It depends on what goes on in Tater's mind. First it was dragons. The next time it was a pair of dinosaurs. Either way... cute picture:

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And here is something he colored. He wouldn't tell me what this was:

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Hat Tip to CalTechGirl's Mom for the humor today.

Getting Married

There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city gals and one farm gal.

The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile.

Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counselor if you keep a good record.

He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on using birth control pills she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them.

He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her
answer was , The pail and saucer, method. After a short delay, he again told her that should also work.

He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a
follow up on how things were going.

They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant.

Only the farm gal was slim and trim yet.

Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She replied that she used the rhythm method but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby.

He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied,the birth control pill but we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby.

He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were
going to use the pail and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you.

She replied, Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit
taller than my husband, he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him.

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Loan story

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,
about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(you're gonna love this)

(wait for it)






The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a
Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you
did!!!

The Winner is...

Domain Name: cox.net
ISP: Cox Communications
Location
Continent: North America
Country: United States (Facts)
State: Florida
City: Pensacola

Referring URL: http://boudicca.mu.nu/

Someone from P'cola, that came over from Bou's blog. h~ seems to be the winner. Who are you h~ and do you have a blog? Thanks for stopping by and rolling my numbers over 10k.

Almost 10k again!

Whoever comes by and hits 10k, please let me know. When I was on blogger, I totally missed it. By about 2000 hits. Oops. But right now it is sitting at 9916. Sometime today or tomorrow morning it should roll over. Just let me know!!! If you are a blogger, I'll be glad to link to you and give you praise for stopping by. ;-)

UPDATE: Getting closer. 9991. Moving this post to the top. Don't forget to let me know if you are 10,000.

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and helping my numbers. The analytical person in me is just jumping for joy.

Pictures Will Never Be The Same

My boys have entered a new era in our household. They pose for pictures. And not necessarily how Mom would like them to pose. Tater asked me to take his picture. And this is what I got (click to enlarge):

= = = = =

It gets better. He wanted me to take another... and Tot joined in.

= = = = =

Now tell me when it ends?

Lessons in Life

If you touch a hot engine, it will burn your hand. If you do everything your brother does, you will get hurt as well. Yes, my sons learned that if you touch something hot it burns. Tater got his left palm burned and Tot his left finger tips.

They are fine. By that night, they had forgotten it happened and took a bath without a hitch. Only when someone reminded them of it, did they suddenly have an 'owie'.

I can tell life is going to take a turn for the more interesting now. Hopefully this lesson took and won't be repeated.

Questions for Sticks

It is getting close to the interview time for Sticks over at Basil's Blog. Ohhh yaaa. I'm going to ask some good questions. My interview is over, hence she can't get me back easily.

How about you join me in the fun? HERE is her blog. Single mom with three boys... and a great sense of humor. Go ahead, make her day.

UPDATE: You send your questions to basil.interviews AT gmail.com and you need them there by Jan 15th.

Snow in South Florida???

I went out the door this morning and thought I was seeing things. I thought I saw snow on my lawn:

Even our Happy Dog was at attention walking through it:

But alas, it was just frost...

It certainly is a little cold this morning. GRIN

Cold In South Florida

Somehow I doubt Bou is outside this morning. Almost 9am and here is the temperature (click to enlarge):

Mr. GQ

It's been a long week. Lost the house keys, drove into the front gate and bent it, no one came to see the house, and the list goes on... the good news? Tink sent me some Christmas pictures. Click to enlarge and see how cute Tot is!!! Mr. GQ

Munch Munch, Crunch Crunch

Soon my house will be empty of food. Really. My children have become tape worms. They eat and eat and eat. I would like to know where it goes. Here was yesterday's menu:

Breakfast to Lunch:
Tater: 1 bowl oatmeal, 2 bananas, fish pretzels, regular pretzels
Tot: 2 bowls oatmeal, 2 bananas, fish pretzels, regular pretzels

Lunch to Dinner:
Tater: 3 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (full size), 1 banana, 2 choc chip cookies, regular pretzels
Tot: 1 mini bagel with cream cheese, 1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich (full size), 1 banana, 1 candy cane, 1 choc chip cookie, regular pretzels

Dinner till bedtime:
Tater: 3 helpings of chicken/rice (mainly just chicken), 1 black eyed pea, pears, 2 1/2 bowls oatmeal, regular pretzels, crackers with peanut butter
Tot: 2 helpings of chicken/rice (eating all of it), 1 black eyed pea, manderin oranges, 2 bowls oatmeal, regular pretzels

Tater is not even 3 1/2 years old... Tot just turned 2 in October. Exactly how much will my kids be eating when they are 10 or 11? Will I be able to stock enough food for them? Should I be scared or not?

Rocking Chair Manuvers

The rocking chair is a great toy. If you are Tot. It can be annoying if you are Mom.

First you have to stand in front of it, reach back, hold on and then push until your feet lift off the ground. (BTW, this leaves bruises on the back that look rather interesting... I am just glad he doesn't go shirtless).

= = = = = =

On the way back:

= = = = = =

And the last stage is hollaring for "elp Mommy, elp!":

= = = = = =

What amazes me is that half the time, he crawls out from under the chair before asking for help. Or even better, he crawls out and then screams. One of these days he is going to be hurt and I'm not going to believe it.

Side Note: I was looking up another word for Rocks (as in the Rocking Chair Rocks) and found THIS. Not exactly what I was expecting.

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Don't Pee in the Pool

Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool.

"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "I'm going to report you."

"But everyone pees in the pool," said Little Johnny.

"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

A Fishing Lure

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of he-ll. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.

After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir," replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

Tot is Just Like Mom

Or so Dad says.... the saying started at Christmas when we set up the Thomas The Tank Engine track for the new trains we bought. They all went at different speeds. This means eventually one of the trains would catch up with another. When ever a train caught up with the one in front of it, Tot would start fussing. He would head over to one of us and try to get us to 'fix it'. There were times when we thought he was going to cry over this.

There was another time after we got back home when my husband had some jeans thrown over the couch. Happy Dog laid down next to the couch and the jeans ended up touching him. Tot had a 'fit', walked over and grabbed the jeans. Dad moved the jeans and Tot settled down.

It gets better. One morning at breakfast, Dad gave the boys their milk. Out of habit, I give Tot the yellow topped sippy cup and Tater the blue topped sippy cup. Dad does not know about this habit. Tot let him know it was NOT acceptable to be given the wrong sippy cup. Tears, whining, and general fussing ensued.

Seems Tot is rather anal about certain things in his life. Dad swears he gets it from me. It is possible. Just try moving something to the wrong spot in my kitchen.

I just hope he doesn't turn out like Monk. Then again, I saw him eating some dirt today. I guess I won't have to worry about him becoming "Monk". I also hope this is just a phase we are going through and not a permanent issue. A short phase please!

Backside Sniffing

Children keep me hopping. And sometimes they make me laugh so hard, I can't stop the situation.

I was visiting a neighbor with the children and our dog. Our house was going to be shown and I didn't want to be around. And my kids love going over there. She has two dogs and toys for them.

While playing in the backyard, I see one of her dogs walk over and it sniffs Happy Dog's rearend. No biggie... I go back to playing in the dirt with them. I then look up to see why Tot is leaving us. He walks over to Happy Dog's behind, bends over and sniffs it.

I was laughing so hard, it was tough to go over and stop him. I did... but not until he got to sniff once. I just hope it doesn't happen again.

Psst. I was trying to avoid hits for bu-tt sniffing which is why I used the different words. Somehow I think it will be interesting what 'sniffing' hits I do get.

New Year Resolutions?

Hat Tip to Richmond at One for the Road:

Your New Year's Resolutions

1) Get a pet hairless cat 2) Eat more sushi 3) Travel to Costa Rica 4) Study japanese pop culture 5) Get in shape with naked yoga

Sounds better than the New Year Resolutions I came up with! Work on eating better, getting exercise outside of kids and start meditating again.

What about you? Any good resolutions you would like to have for this year?