December 31, 2007

Nice Last Day Surprise

I won!!! I won!!!

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Yep, watching the Auburn game with Hubby...and I WON!!!

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Recipe for Me...

h/t Sticks...

The Recipe For vw bug
3 parts Laughter
2 parts Shrewdness
1 part Fascination

Splash of Devilry

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?
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Memories of Old and New...

Tink sent me an old picture of Tater. Look at the rolls in those arms. Yep, that is baby food he was eating... though from the looks of it he wanted Uncle Pan's steak!

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And here is Tater just a week ago...

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Christmas Day Fun

We opened gifts on Christmas day at Mamaw's house... then proceeded to DDPup's afterwards. Here is how the morning started:

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And a couple of pictures from DDPup's house:

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Christmas Eve Surprise

Mamaw was thinking ahead. Knowing we had a whole day before Christmas... she let the boys open her gifts the afternoon of Christmas Eve. They loved it!

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And here they are playing with the new cars... (even I loved playing with them!)

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Yep, those are coats... hard to believe it gets cold in Florida, but it was cold Christmas eve and day in North Florida!!!

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December 29, 2007

It's December... Anyone Told the Weather Man?

It is suppose to hit 84F today. No joke. Here is the temp from this morning...

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Now I know why my trees are starting to put out leaves 2 months early...

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Happy Memories

Mamaw always has stuff ready for the boys. This year they decorated a Christmas tree and made a wreath for the birds.

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And the finished product!

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The boys put suet into prewired pinecones. Yep, Mamaw prewired a bunch of pinecones for the boys. Made suet. Had a wreath ready. She also had oranges and apples ready for cutting. The woman is unbelievable.

My hands were a messy during the making of the wreaths, so I only have 'finished' product for you to see:

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More fun pictures in the future!

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December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas

I have been busy up in P'cola. No time to blog, no time to answer emails. EEEKKKK. But this morning, I took a few minutes and found that my mom had sent me the poem below. I wish I had seen it yesterday... Anyways, Merry Belated Christmas and I'll be back on-line this weekend... until then...

I have not been to your site to leave you a message... I have been thinking of all of you at different times. Many of you have given me the adult conversation and support I have needed over many difficult and troubling days in my life. It amazes me how the internet has given me the opportunity to meet and grow in myself. Thank you all for your support, humor and just making me use my brain. And here is that poem...

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My baby daughter beside us, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

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December 22, 2007

What You Don't Want To Hear When You Are Packing....

Tater: Mom, Mom, Mom... what happens if you eat a crayon?
Mom: You are likely to throw-up... why?
Tater: Just asking
Mom: Do you want to throw-up?
Tater: No way!

I guess the stomach flu helped with some things.

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December 21, 2007

Slowing Down

Seems I just can't do it all. I'm beat. We have a party today, packing for leaving tomorrow and the house looks like a hurricane, an earthquake and a couple of tornadoes hit it. Did I mention no sleep. Yaa, I'm running on empty. Posting is going to be slow or not at all or the next couple of days. My apologies but life just took over...

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December 20, 2007

Dog Tired

We were 4 for 4 by mid-afternoon. Hubby and I were hit the hardest with fevers along with the vomiting and runs. I have some really gross stories, but am too tired to get them down. Funny but gross... as it can only be when the whole family is sick. ok, the boys are laughing, eating breakfast, and ready to roll. Since I have carpool duty this morning... I have to find enough energy to get going myself. Later...

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December 19, 2007

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

'Twas A Florida Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town,
no noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down,
no children in flannels were tucked into bed,
they all wore shorty pajamas instead.

To find wreaths of holly, t'was not very hard,
for holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
adorning the bushes and coconut palms.

The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
hoping to find water skis under the tree.
They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
in a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh.

And soon he arrived and started to work,
he hadn't a second to linger or shirk.
He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
in a S-L 300, delivering his loads.

The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
and lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle,
he was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle,

There weren't any chimneys, but that caused no gloom,
for Santa came in through the Florida room.
He stopped at each house....stayed only a minute,
emptying his sack of stuff that was in it.

Before he departed, he treated himself
to a glass of papaya juice upon the shelf.
He turned with a jerk and bounced to the car,
remembering he still had to go very far.

He shifted the gears and stepped on the gas
and up Highway 436 he went like a flash.
And I heard him exclaim as he went on his way,

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Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

And here are some more (continued from last week):

What do elves learn in school?
[The Elf-abet!]

What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
[It was already wound up.]

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
[Its true, Comet cleans sinks!]

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
[No, you can have turkey like everyone else.]

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
[Sandy Claws!]

What kind of bird can write?
[A PENguin.]

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
[The turkey, he is always stuffed.]

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Judge: "What are you charged with?"
Prisoner: "Doing my Christmas shopping early."
Judge: "That's not an offense. How early were you doing this shopping?"
Prisoner: "Before the store opened."

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
[Santa Clues!]

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
[Jungle bells, jungle bells...]

What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
[Pour Santa flush on him.]

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
[Your teeth.]

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
[Because it has long-distance runners on each side.]

What are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
[They both drop their needles.]

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
[because every buck is dear to him.]

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
[Crisp Cringle.]

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !

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December 18, 2007

Tums and Bananas

After throwing up, you should not eat a banana nor take some tums to try and settle your stomach... It will come up a little while later and taste terrible. Seems Tater and I have a stomach bug. He has been up since 2am as well. Thank goodness I am the only one with the fever. My understanding is this is a 24 hour bug from others who have had it. If we have what has been going around. Needless to say, not much posting and commenting today.

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December 17, 2007

A Teaser For You

Here are some cute pictures taken with the camera before and at the Christmas program... Here is Tot, all grown up!

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Tater didn't want to tuck in his shirt.

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Tater asked to take a picture or two. He did a decent job. We have a Robin ornament that Tot likes to imitate:

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and Tot:

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And it was pleasant having the in-laws along to see it first hand. More in the future.

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Back In The Saddle Again

I thought my husband was going to go insane... I had no internet access for 2 days!!! What a mess. Last week we had the Christmas program for Tot and the in-laws over... and then I lost my phone and internet. Yaa. He was prepared for battle. My internet is my access to other adults. Somewhat of a life line.

Yet he was surprised. I didn't go crazy. I didn't sit and write 10 posts... I did what any good computer person would do when they have no access. I backed up files, ran defrag. I had to run it 3 times on Tot's machine just to get it to stop saying it needed defrag'ing. Geeze. I also installed (with hubby's help) a DVD writer to Tot's machine so I could start downloading my camcorder to DVDs again. Yep, I worked on getting the Christmas program downloaded. I have a minitape Camcorder... hence all the extra work. Tot's machine has a firewire...

I did NOT finish getting the Christmas program downloaded. Takes forever. But I'll try to finish it up tonight so you can see some of the cool moves my son has.

Until then... I am now 4 days behind in reading blogs and haven't written a single post until now. Yikes!!! I have a list of about 20 items to get done... oil changed, dog's nails clipped, grocery shopping, mammogram schedule, and the like... Oh... and Tot's school has let out for the holidays. I'll have him day in and day out for the next week while Tater is still in school. Say a prayer for me... I'm going to need it!

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December 16, 2007


Through a sordid twist of fate, the bug is off-line until tomorrow night. When she gets back she'll tell you the whole story (or I'll pinch off her buggy little neck).

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December 14, 2007

Sugar Cookie Fun

There are a lot of fun pictures, so they will be found under the More Pawprints... click and enjoy.

Here is a tickler sample... Tot helping mixing the dough...

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Ok, click and enjoy the rest...

At the beginning there are cookie cutters...

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Now the decorating begins... Here is Tater hard at work...

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Tot's working just as hard...

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Look at the detail Tot is putting on his cookies... the eyes and nose from little tiny sugar beads....

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While you see it in the above picture... it seems to disappear as he adds more and more decorations...

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Here are the cookies after being cooked:

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This year, they are edible!!!!

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December 12, 2007

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Here's a start ...

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas Tree?
[A pineapple.]

What did the guest sing at the Eskimo Christmas Party?
[Freeze a jolly good fellow...]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
[It's Christmas, Eve!]

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
[We'll have a boo Christmas without you.]

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
[A subordinate claus.]

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
[The letter "D"!]

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
[So he can ho-ho-ho.]

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
[Ribbon hood.]

One Christmas I got a battery with a note saying, "Toy not included."

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.
Doctor: Take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring.

Patient: Doctor, I'm scared of Father Christmas.
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mary who?
Merry Christmas.

Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
A: Have a furry merry Christmas and a Happy Mew Year.

Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: A merry Christmas to Ewe.

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Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

For Pamibe (and other dog lovers):

A Puppy's Twelve Days of Christmas
by Elise Lewis 1997

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Six yards of soggy ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
My wreath in nine pieces
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed
My wreath in nine pieces
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
Eleven unwrapped presents
Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed
My wreath in nine pieces
Eight tiny reindeer fragments
Seven scraps of wrapping paper
Six yards of soggy ribbon
Five chewed-up stockings
Four broken window candles
Three punctured ornaments
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
A dozen puppy kisses And I forgot about the other eleven days.

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December 11, 2007

The Woman In Red

Seems Tink found an old picture of me and my sister. I'm the one in Red found in


Geeze that was a long time ago. At least 35 pounds less and over 20 years ago. GRIN... The only thing that sucks about being short is even 10 pounds makes you look fat. That's ok... I'll call myself Mrs. Claus!

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Olga In December

I couldn't resist a quick post on the fact that the news casters down here are having a blast. Warning! The sky is falling, the sky is falling... Oh wait... they are saying... A hurricane is coming, a hurricane is coming!

Olga is on the way!

Yaa. It is as silly as it sounds.

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I Love Daddy

While I find the conversation I had with Tot very funny, I'm not sure how many others will understand the humor of it. Still... for your enjoyment...

Tot had a birthday party to go to on Saturday evening. It was at the bowling alley and I was sure he would love it. As we were leaving, he wanted Dad to drive him. Uhhh. No. I took Tater to a birthday party last weekend and Tot got Dad. This time it was Tater's turn to stay home with Dad. Though, if Dad had realized they were going to run an open bar for the adults, he may have volunteered to go!

While in the car and getting ready to leave the conversation went something like this:

Tot: I want Daddy
Mom: It is Daddy's turn to be with Tater.
Tot: **SCREAM** Go Back, I want Daddy to drive me.
Mom: Do that again, we will go back and you will NOT go to the party.
Tot: hmphf... I love Daddy.
Mom: That's good.
Tot: I don't love you Mom.
Mom: **trying not to laugh out loud** Ok.
Tot: Can Daddy drive me?
Mom: We just had this conversation. If I turn this car around, there will be no party.
Tot: Hmphf... I love Daddy.
Mom: **quiet snicker**

Turns out he was pretty quiet after that and had a great time at the party. I must say that it was hilarious to have this conversation with Tot. Even funnier because last night Tot looked at me and said "Mom... I do love you." Yep. Kids keep me smiling.

Posted by vw bug at 05:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 10, 2007

A Weee Bit Busy

This week will be lacking in posts as far as I can tell. I am trying to get certified and it is taking up all my time. Time I should be using to finish up Christmas cards, make cookie dough, write posts for my blog, clean the house... ahhh but who cares about a clean house anyways. ;-)

I'll put together a couple of posts and of course I'll have one for Wednesday. While I will continue to read other blogs, my comments will be non-existent. It takes more time than I'm going to have right now. Yet, I will be there reading. I need that sanity break.

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I Got Something Else Done

Never expect stuff from me on time (unless you are paying me real money). Hence, here is the final copy of the calendar I did... with the cool binding at the top. One for my hubby's birthday in October and one for Mamaw's birthday in November. Hubby got his this week, Mamaw will get hers at Christmas. Ta da! They are slightly different but January is the same for both and that is what I took a picture of for you to enjoy!

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December 07, 2007

Tomato and Strawberry

Seems we lost the cucumber plants... but look what has survived...

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Now I have to figure out how to keep the rabbits and squirrels and birds from eating them....

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Start Of The Star

The boys have been working on the Star for the tree.... Here is the beginning...

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More to come in another post when they finish.

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December 06, 2007

Let's Not Forget Happy

Here are some cute pictures of Happy dog!

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Geeze Mom, It's An Elephant

When driving during the day, I asked Tot about some decorations we saw in a lawn. I asked him which one he liked in the lawn... he said the elephant. Huh?

Mom: You mean the angel blowing the horn?
Tot: No Mom, it's an elephant.
Mom: How do you know it's an elephant?
Tot: You can see the trunk.

Yep. Nothing like seeing things through your child's eyes.

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A Little Picture

Finally got a picture of that Pileated...

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Doesn't show the height very well. It is a huge bird.

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December 05, 2007

Temps in Florida

I grabbed the temps of West Palm Beach (southern Florida) and Pensacola (northern Florida) this morning.

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The difference is that it got to 80s today here. The prediction this morning was 79... it went over. It is December. It is not suppose to be in the 80s even in Southern Florida!!!

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More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

These have been around for ages... but I still love them!

You Think English is Easy???

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present , he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP .
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so... Time to shut Oh... one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P !

Posted by vw bug at 06:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

On the way to the work this morning, I rear-ended a car. I knew it was going to be a bad day.

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf.

He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said "I am not happy"

I said, "Well, which one are you then?"

And, your honor, that's how the fight started...

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December 04, 2007

Just For Mom's Camera

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Click to enlarge. No joke. I was trying to get a picture of a Pileated Woodpecker that had come into the yard... and my boys asked me to take a picture of their butts. How could I refuse?

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December 03, 2007

Could NOT Resist

After reading Tink's post and seeing her tree (you'll have to scroll down to see how it is leaning and tied to the ceiling!)... I then saw this Garfield comic this afternoon... baw ha haha ha Now if I could figure out a way to change all her pictures and make all the trees and decorations crooked!!!!

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Making Ornaments

Last year we made ornaments... and I had to try it again this year. This was the first try ...

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and later you will see more results. Particularly since I discovered that giving the boys 4 ornaments to do was a bad choice. I now limit it to one a day or every other day. And we started the Christmas Star. That is a post within itself.

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December 02, 2007

Acts of Kindness

It is the season to remember humanity. When the day is shorter, the darkness is longer and many people are depressed. What can be done about it? How about an act of kindess? It was amazing to me that the first two blogs I read tonight had something on this very thing.

First was Cynthia at THIS POST. The first 3 people who commented will receive something from Cynthia. Just because.

And then at Zen Habits POST HERE... and since I liked how it was written... here is a quote:

So how can I start this change, in some small way, and have it have little ripples throughout the world?

There are so many ways, but I’m going to take a page from Oprah. She did a “Pay It Forward” episode where she gave 300 audience members $1,000 each, with a camcorder and a challenge to spend the money on charity or individuals in acts of kindness. (See also: Pay It Forward Foundation)

I do not have $1,000 to give away, let alone $300,000. So I ask myself, “Self, what do I have that I can give to people?” And self answered: you have an ebook, and you have blog traffic that you can use to help smaller bloggers. Neither of those are amazing gifts, but they’re small acts of kindness that I’d like to give away.

Here’s how I’ll do that: (Go to the post to find out what will be done)

And for me... I'll offer to make a Christmas digital scrapbook page for the first 3 people who make comments. It will require you to send me pictures to use on the pages. Please understand, those pages take me a couple of days but I will do my best to get them to you asap after I receive your pictures. A little act of kindness from many different people can cause a large ripple through the world.

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December 01, 2007

Christmas Humor

Tink sent me this and I was laughing thinking about my boys and this situation...

Gold, Common Sense and Fur

My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time) for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious praying and promised God that if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother, love it with all my heart and raise it with His word as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us with another son.

The following year, He blessed us with yet another son.

The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty. We no w had four children, and the oldest was only four years old.

I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it. As a minister once told me, 'If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella.

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs.

I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four children and I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding... when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom, although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see how it felt to be a hot dog, I tried to see the humor rather than the mess.

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers, never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time, I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close... I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going to church to worship God, and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to 'wash up' Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life, and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his 'last wife.'

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man. This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line, 'We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes.'

But he was nervous and said, 'The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes.'

My four-year-old 'Mary' said, 'That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly. That's dirty, rotten clothes.'

A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying, 'Mama-mama.'

Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown, knelt at the manger and announced, 'We are the three wise men, and we are bringing gifts of gold, common sense and fur.'

The congregation dissolved into laughter, and the pageant got a standing ovation.

'I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as t his one,' laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes.

'For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur.'

'My children are my pride and my joy and my greatest blessing,' I said as I dug through my purse for an aspirin.

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