Win A Free Book!

Did I catch your attention? Good. It's really easy to do. Here is what the author has to say:

Pass it around to any of your friends - free books for them too if they stick up a blurb for me on their blogs.

Have you noticed I have an 'ad' up on my blog? About half way down the left side. It's the kind of book I like, but can't justify buying. I go to the library and borrow from friends. Ahhhh. But I don't have to buy it now. It's on the way to my house via snail mail. Yipeee!!!!!

You can also have this book free of charge. Just send me an email and I'll send you the info... happydogspeaks at gmail dot com ... got it? Or put a comment out here and make sure your email is available.

And to help you decide if you would like a copy... here is the 'plug' from Amazon on it:

Book Description
"Out of time" is a story about three young men dragged by a freak accident from the early nineteenth century into the high tech world of the twenty-third. They are transported through time from the gundeck of the 74 gun ship of the line HMS Spartan and into the hangar decks of the huge new starship NECS Vanguard.
They must now come to terms not only with the change of time, but with the gap in their understanding of the universe, science and technology - and do this in the midst of a power struggle between those who seek to take over the governments of the free world and those in the political process who through their own corruption and self interest seek to allow this - and those who must prevent it. The Fleet of starships and its dedicated crews must fight to save the freedom of their peoples - and of the aliens enslaved in the service of the plotters.
The three are both a target for corrupt bureaucrats and scientists and a key factor in the frustration of these plans. Harry Heron, Ferghal O'Connor and Danny Gunn are taken out of their time and plunged head first into another where they find they have as much to contribute as they have to learn.

Not difficult to do and you get a prize. I like that kind of work. Psst. You can also put a comment at most any recent post over at the Gray Monk's blog and he'll send you the info straight from the source. Tell 'em the bug sent ya!

butt wipes

While Tater is a cutie and tries to give the most hugs and kisses, Tot is the one that always tries to be funny. And this story is about butt wiping. For those without children, be aware that one of the things that happens is teaching your child how to wipe his butt. It's not so bad when they are infants and you are changing diapers... you can do this in an open space. Then they start pooping in the toilet. Green and blue fog appears and you want to gag when you open the door. There is no escape. Especially when you hear: Mom, Mom, come help me.

A couple of options are available. Just tell them to keep trying and put their underwear back on. Not the best option as they will smell like that green and blue fog every time they are near you.

Or you can try your best to hold your breath and fight your way in to assist in the butt wiping.

Right now, Tater can pretty much do it himself and get it clean. No assistance needed from mom. Phew.

Tot on the other hand. A whole different story. One you will get to hear right now. After the "Mom, Mom, come here"... I headed to the bathroom. I take a breath and open the door. Not so bad.

Tot points to the toilet "I flushed it".
Mom: **Silently yells Yipeee!!! **
Mom: Did you wipe your butt?
Tot: Nope
Mom: Ok, you need to try. Get a Kandoo and wipe it.
Tot: Ok... gets a Kandoo wipe, wipes his butt.
Mom: You need to try again please.
Tot: Ok... gets a wipe, sticks it between his butt cheeks, holds it with his butt cheeks and does a little dance shaking his butt with kandoo wipe sticking out.
Mom: ** loses it and laughs out loud **
Mom: Tot, you need to wipe with it not dance with it stuck in your butt
Tot: **sweet laughter** Ok... continues shaking butt and now laughing
Mom: Really, you need to wipe your butt and flush it down the toilet.
Tot: Ok... wipes his butt, and gets another wipe,again, sticks it between the cheeks, turns butt towards mom and shakes his butt
Mom: **Trying really hard not to laugh** Tot, you must wipe all the poop off your butt please.

Finally, Tot wipes his butt and the wipe looks clean. I'm done. I have to get out of there before he finds something else to do.

yaa... life is always entertaining at our house.

Blind Copies Are Best

Actually, Basil said it best HERE. Go read it and save your friends from a Doofus. As many times as I try to do Blind Copies... occasionally I make a mistake. And yep, I got caught with a virus once. Sucks big time.

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

In celebration of Star Wars:

how jedi are you? :: by lawrie malen

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Star Wars Grudge Matches

I really enjoyed The Commentary between Dave and Shane on the Anakin vs Harry Potter grudge match.

And the rest are pretty funny as well. Enjoy!

humor

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while.

"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.

"Yes," replies her daughter.

"Do you still have any questions?"

"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"

"In exactly the same way as with babies."

"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"

humor

NightTime Conversation With Tot

It was amazing how tired Tot was yesterday and how he just couldn't shut up. Some strange conversations occurred. The one that had me laughing was when he told me... (note: lights are off, but there is just enough sunlight still outside to make it a little visible in the room)

Tot: Mom, Look at this
Mom: **blink** Where?
Tot: Down here! At my pe.nis hole
Mom: Huh? ** oh... in the underwear **
Tot: Look, I found the pe.nis hole
Mom: Yes dear, but it is time to go to sleep
Tot: My pe.nis is down there
Mom: Yes, but the hole is too small for you to pull it out, now it is time to go to sleep
Tot: Do you pee through it?
Mom: Yes, instead of pulling your underwear down. We'll talk about it in the morning
Tot: Mom!!!! I lost my pe.nis hole!
Mom: It's ok. Just go to sleep.
Tot: It's gone! It's Gone!!
Mom: We'll find it in the morning.
Tot: Ohhhh... I found it again.
Mom: **blink**

And finally the little bugger settled down, I left and he went to sleep. I went initially to read books and say prayers. I stayed because he was kicking the wall and keeping his brother awake. He settled down after that conversation. Phew.

Memorial Day

Today and for the last couple of days I have been trying to explain Memorial day to my kids. How we are remembering the men and women who have given their lives to make this country the way it is. Something I need to get better at is taking them to do one of the following:

* by visiting cemeteries and placing flags or flowers on the graves of our fallen heroes.

* by visiting memorials.

This would be a visual reminder of the situation and help them remember it. Until I can get my act together better and do this, words and stories will have to do.

Ogre Does It!!

Though I didn't see any Shrek movies listed. I would have sworn those would be among his favorites. Looked like Monty Python is in that group. I'll have to look harder at some of the others.

Go take a peek... Ogre's Movie Meme.

Rock Painting

To keep my boys busy for a little while, I convinced them to paint some rocks for my garden. It worked...

The Real Summer Vacation

Seems that the first couple of days of 'summer' vacation are always entertaining. Like it being 90 degrees and Tot insisting on wearing a superman costume. Or playing loud obnoxious instruments on the back porch at 9am. Sure those kids who wanted to sleep in just loved us. ;-) It didn't seem to bother Happy Dog!

PreK Graduation

Last week was PreK Graduation for Tater. And here is what Tot was doing while we were waiting for it to get started:

Yaa. Just wonderful... (sarcasm here). The pictures of him getting his diploma and certificate didn't come out that well. But as he was waiting for the rest to get done, he was checking out his stuff:

Afterwards, they decided to fill the children up with icecream.

The kids were going to need it for the 'carnival' outside:

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After the outside activities, they had a music/puppet show inside... along with some prizes and face painting:

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It was fun and the kids were tired. Well worth it. ;-)

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

I might try this with squash!!! ;-)

20 Ways to Make Macaroni & Cheese More Interesting

By Maji Hildreth

1) Green food dye. Every toddler knows that green stuff is more fun to eat! Grasshoppers, the lawn and dishwashing liquid, for example.

2) Serve it a day old and cold! Shape it creatively into a Teletubbie! Express yourself!

3) If you really want them to eat it, dish it out into the Barbie Grand Minivan or the cat's dish. Now that's fun!

4) Pretend to sneeze it out of your nose. Boogers are pretty neat when you're little.

5) Spend an evening installing small motorized gyrators in each shell. Make their dinner dance and sing the Macarena! Okay, this may take more time than you actually have but if you really want five minutes of peace in the shower, you'll listen to me.

6) Dinner in the tub! Kill two birds with one, soapy stone!

7) Go to McDonalds and leave the macaroni in the box.

8) Four words! Macaroni and Cottage cheese! Yummy!

9) Hide the macaroni in an old shoebox in the flower bed and let the kids dig it up! Everyone knows things taste better when you dig them out of the ground!

10) Allow the kids to preheat it in the VCR. After all, that bologna must be getting lonely.

11) Serve it in their hair. Most of it ends up there anyway.

12) Make macaroni necklaces. That way they can eat on the move.

13) Make it a candlelit macaroni dinner! If they can't see what they're eating, you might be able to sneak some brussel sprouts in there.

14) First one to finish the bowl gets that Pokemon card they wanted!

15) Cold macaroni snacks! A little granola, some pasta, a few banana chips! It's a healthy, crunchy bag of goodness!

16) Marinate the macaroni all night in tequila. It won't be any fun for them since they can't eat it but after you have a bowl, will you really care?

17) Let them trick or treat for their dinner! Shovel the macaroni into a bag along with some peas and applesauce and it becomes a fun holiday event!

18) Let the dog try it first. Anything that passes the pooch taste test is something toddlers are pretty keen on eating.

19) Get your neighbor to dress up as their favorite cartoon superhero and tout the many goodness factors of a well rounded macaroni dinner while simultaneously juggling flaming torches!

20) Tell them they absolutely, positively cannot eat the macaroni on their plate. You're not kidding. They can't touch it. Reverse psychology, after all, is the clever mom's greatest weapon.

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Oldie but Goodie... and some days I feel like this:

BLONDE COOKBOOK

MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:
Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve
without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath.
I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said
prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour
before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was
rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients
in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with
this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I
left.

SATURDAY:
Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked
me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps
counting to ten.

SUNDAY:
Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I
could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I
put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast.
It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY:
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to
come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get
a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate
Moose.

It's A Boy

Finally, I get to have a Blog-son.
That's right folks... there is a new addition to the family. And what is really scary... he listens. He asked for advice, I gave it to him and after just a little prodding... he made changes. Which proceeded to destroy his blog, but he had the cleanup crew come in and fix it (along with making sure the changes were there).

If it wasn't enough that he listened, I love having children with Talent. Along with a good sense of humor also helps!

Titles like "Dirty Diapers/ Dirty Words" help... particularly when you read:

A diaper changing system, a package of gauze diapers and a changing caddy: I placed them all in my shopping cart and attached the following gift note:

Congrats Angie & JR:

A poop-themed gift to celebrate the arrival of your new little pooper. Sorry we couldn’t be there: we love you so much.

Love,

Matty & Constance

The horrors that emerged upon clicking “submit” were unexpected and maddening: Dumb Baby Stuff’s system returned the message: “Sorry - profanity is not allowed in gift messages. Please resubmit gift card.”

Yaa, I was laughing. Oh.. and the first sucky post? Watch out dog lovers, it has a cutie in it... and if that is sucky... I'm in soooo much trouble. It had me laughing again about how people tell me I treat my kids like dogs...

Do me a favor. Head over to Maybe Baby and welcome the newest member of the Bad Example Family.

Mom's Not Pure

Saw this at Richmond's and couldn't resist:

You Are 58% Pure

You're not so innocent... in fact, you're quite unpure. You have seen and experienced a lot. And you're no worse for the wear!

I can't believe I'm not 100% pure. Geeze, what's wrong with this quiz? Doesn't it recognize a perfectly pure person??? hahaha. Ok, ok. You can stop laughing now. I was happy it was as high as 58%. GRIN

And the Answers are:

1. British / British Film / No Ending / Severed Leg / Corporeal Mortification
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

2. Violence / Weapon / Golden Gun / England / Espionage
2. Everything or Nothing (007)

3. U Boat / Spying / Toboggan / Secret Agent / Motorcycle Crash
3. For Your Eyes Only (007)

4. Siamese Cat / Dog Cartoon / Disney Animated Feature / 1900s / Dog
4. Lady and the Tramp

5. Angel / Christmas / Harp / Ice Skating / Benefactor
5. The Bishop's Wife (original)

6. Peril / No Opening Credits / Stylized / Fantasy Life / End Of Mankind
6. Lord of the Rings

7. Death Of Hero / Shakespearean Quote / Father Son Relationship / Terraforming / Amazing Grace Hymn
7. Star Trek: the Wrath of Khan

8. Strangler / Messiah / Moon / Wuxia Fiction / Fall From Height
8. Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi

9. No Opening Credits / Topless Women / Art Movie / Child Nudity / Classical
Music
9. Fantasia

10. Bondage / Mummy / Thrown Through Windshield / U Boat / Good Versus Evil
10. Raiders of the Lost Ark

And it was hard to leave out:

The Day the Earth Stood Still, Short Circuit, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, Shaolin Soccer, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, the rest of the Star Wars movies, the rest of the Star Trek movies (though some were so so), It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, the Sixth Sense, the Fifth Element, Stripes, Romancing the Stone...

My hubby got me sidetracked on someone named Frank Welker. Holy Smokes!!! That man has done so much and I didn't even know who he was until now. Go click on the link above and see if you recognize any of the movies or tv shows he has been involved with.

Movie Meme

Thanks to Tink and Bou, I have to come up with 10 of my favorite movies. The worse part? I stink at remembering Movie names. I'll probably have to ask hubby what the name of the movies I like by giving him the plot. It will be entertaining to see who gets any of them right.

Wow. I was surprised at some of the Plot keywords. I think I will have some very interesting hits this week. And very disappointed they didn't have plot keywords for "VeggieTales, Lord of the Beans". Nope, it's not listed below... sigh...

UPDATE: Looking in the comments, I have decided to update the list and put italics to mean you are close, and bold to mean you got it!

1. British / British Film / No Ending / Severed Leg / Corporeal Mortification
2. Violence / Weapon / Golden Gun / England / Espionage
3. U Boat / Spying / Toboggan / Secret Agent / Motorcycle Crash
4. Siamese Cat / Dog Cartoon / Disney Animated Feature / 1900s / Dog
5. Angel / Christmas / Harp / Ice Skating / Benefactor (The original of course)
6. Peril / No Opening Credits / Stylized / Fantasy Life / End Of Mankind
7. Death Of Hero / Shakespearean Quote / Father Son Relationship / Terraforming / Amazing Grace Hymn
8. Strangler / Messiah / Moon / Wuxia Fiction / Fall From Height
9. No Opening Credits / Topless Women / Art Movie / Child Nudity / Classical Music
10. Bondage / Mummy / Thrown Through Windshield / U Boat / Good Versus Evil

Once you see these, you will wonder even more about me and maybe understand why my boys get into so much trouble. ;-)

Looks like just about everyone has been tagged. The only person I can be pretty sure hasn't been tagged ... and I'm going to tag him... is Ogre. **snicker** He has been doing meme's just about weekly, so NO Complaining and Whining that you don't do memes. GRIN. If there is anyone else out there that hasn't been tag'd, please do so and just let me know. That way I can link to you when you are done.

For Those That Like A Challenge

Here's some that I have not necessarily seen but have discussed with hubby... as in we saw or remember from our youh and we figured that no one could guess them :

1. Absurdism / Pr0n Name / Dance Club / Pajamas / Slapstick
2. Good Versus Evil / WWII / Curse / Death / Cult Favorite
3. Friendship / Sibling Relationship / Whimsical / Scientist / Fish Out Of Water
4. Cult Comedy / Kung Fu / Post It / Hypnosis / Arson
5. Intelligence Agent / Violin / Mistaken Identity / Infidelity / Secret Agent
6. Mad Doctor / Psychologist / Experiment / Hypnotism / Party
7. Topless / Card Playing / Guilt / Girl Scouts / Taxi Driver
8. Afghanistan / Weapon / Weaponry / Slapstick / Secret Service
9. Disturbing / Human Duplication / Pitchfork / Paranoia / Delusion
10. Computer / Fictitious Sport / Futuristic / Sports Arena / Bach Toccata And Fugue

Since this is just for fun, click MORE PAWPRINTS to see the answers. And let me know if you recognize any of them!!! Sad, but I knew about them all even if I had not seen them.

1. Ograzmo
2. The Keep
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
4. Office Space
5. The Man with One Red Shoe
6. I was a Teenage Werewolf
7. Airplane
8. Spies Like Us
9. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
10. Rollerball

Thank You, Kind Readers

Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. It worked!!! This is what I saw when I looked at the window this afternoon. After it rained last night. The grass turned green, there is water outside. Yes, I understand this little bit of rain is not enough, but it certainly made me smile. Thanks again everyone... I truly believe your good thoughts and prayers made this happen.

Out Of Focus

Even though this is a diary of sorts for my boys or an online scrapbook as I affectionately call it, I don't post about everything. And this is one of those times. When my kids get older and ask about this, hopefully I'll remember and if not... phew. But right now I cannot stay focused. I have too much on my mind. Posting will be light until Monday. This weekend I will write up how the Preschool graduation went and get the pictures ready. I also have an important announcement that is mostly written going up on Tuesday.

If I find something particularly funny, I'll put it up this weekend. With my odd sense of humor you never know what will show up. Ohhh yaaa, Tink got me with a meme. Sigh.

A Bad Mommy Moment

As a mother, you must remember that a four year old and a three year old do not understand when you are being facetious. Like when they are jumping on the bed and you tell them "You may not jump on the bed, but you may jump off of it". Uhhhh... yaa...

I round the corner to holler at them again because I can tell some kind of jumping is going on in Tot's room... and I see Tater do a flying spread eagle leap off Tot's bed, onto the floor with his head making direct contact on the side of the dresser. A bloody mess. Really. Blood on my shirt, down the side of his face. Sigh. I take him into the bathroom, clean it up. Find a flashlight, check his eyes, and his head. Luckily it is just a surface wound. As this is going on, Daddy is walking in from work. What a day.

Nothing is ever simple at the Bug's house.

Really Funny

Some days, I just have a really odd sense of humor... like when I read

A hedgehog's skin is so tough that when they get run over, its entrails come out of its mouth and its ass.

or

A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.(vw comment: I have it beat by about 2 seconds)

at Offbeat Tuesday over at Dazed and Confuzed.

And the Mother's Day post was perfect!

* To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash).

or

* Five pounds of chocolate that won't add twenty pounds to her figure.

or

* A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a "Hi Ya Mom!" just as she puts a razor to her ankle. (vw comment: This is why I seldom shave anymore)

Yaa... I needed a break after some of the days I have had lately.

Blog Spammer?

Seems there is just a lot of fun stuff going around right now. I got a letter from Tink that she couldn't post to her blog today. And she sent me in an email why she couldn't post:

She was pissed and I was laughing. My sister? A Spammer?? baw hahhahha.. The tears still come to my eyes when I see this. And then the "Since you're an actual person reading this, "... ohhh... I'm still snickering...

The whole point of this, besides getting another laugh, was to give those who read both of us a head's up that she may not be posting much the next day or two until it is fixed.

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Some old, some new... most of them are funny!

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
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Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."
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Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
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Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."
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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor."

Animusic?

Wow. Have you ever seen the Animusic 2 dvd?

Click HERE to see a small sample (I had to download and install the win media 11 plugin to get it to work).

Tot loves THIS ONE. Again these are just small samples of the whole thing.

Tater loves THIS ONE.

And I love them all... but THIS ONE really can get me to stop what I'm doing and watch it. I don't like the music as much, but I love the animation on this one.

Yaa... Mamaw sent us this DVD for the kids and I think hubby and I like it just as much. The kids have already watched through twice and a couple of the 'extra' scenes. We have only had it 24 hours. ;-)

Gymnastics Show

Life is interesting this week and last week. It is the 'end of the year' for Preschool and most any other activity. And for this family, the only other activity is gymnastics.

Tot had a show. It was very cute. Here are some pictures from the show. First, the warm up before it begins:

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That same move from a different angle:

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After all the kids performed, they had a wonderful USA medley thingie... the kids were all sitting in the back to start:

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Thankfully they gave them flags to wave to the music.

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They also gave each child a trophy. It was a great experience.

The Day After

What a weekend. I can't even begin to describe it properly. Hence, I am just going to put something out to help me keep life in perspective (and I should have read ever hour yesterday):

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet curtains that had been hung on his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life."

"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Happy Mother's Day

I have been sent this by many people. And it is perfect for today.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here." Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can' t be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T. This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors. And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom ?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.
For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college. This
is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away. This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't
find the words to reach them.

This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated!

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...

And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all.
For all of us.

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them every day that we love them.
And pray.
Please pass along to all the Moms in your life.

"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall." Please pass this to a wonderful mother you know.

Is Your Credit Card Safe?

My BIL sent me

and once I started reading it, I couldn't stop. Particularly after reading this paragraph:

So when I got an offer in the mail for a new "IdentityMonitor" service from Citi, which supposedly protects you from identity theft, I laughed. First, because I was sure it wouldn't work. Second, because they were offering it to one of my own stolen identities:

I kept clicking on the next link to see what happened. If you have 5 minutes. It is very entertaining.

Yesterday's Timeline and Mom's Insanity

9am drop off Tater
9:30am get home and start spaghetti sauce
10am get dressed up
11am show up for mother tea all dressed up with Tot in tow
12pm left
12:45pm met with speech therapist from child find
1:45pm left to get a friend's son (A)
2:15pm picked up A
2:45pm got home
3pm Another friend shows up with m and d for playdate made last week
5:20pm They leave
5:40pm Dinner
6:20pm drag mattress from spare room to Tater's room for A
7:10pm start the bedtime routine

ugh... I'm exhausted and it is going to be a busy weekend. A is staying with us, Tot has a gymnastic show... which reminds me, I have to get the camcorder ready... and our books/dvds are overdue at the library. Someone take me away for just a couple of hours!!!

Fires In Florida

Tot has asthma. I am very aware of the fires down in my part of Florida. What I didn't realize until I read Sticks' Post was how widespread it was overall...

pic idea taken from Sticks and "The server has been inundated with hits and is overloaded. We are providing a static map of existing wildfires." Hence, I am getting the same picture she has.

I walked out the door this morning and could smell the smoke. Just like Sticks, I'm asking that you add your prayers, good thoughts and whatever it is you do that would help us with these fires.

What To Do With Unwanted Cheese?

Seems I am getting more creative everyday. My sons decided they no longer liked the mozzarella stick cheese anymore. Hence, I decided to grate it up and use it on a Chicken Parmesan dish I was making. Decided to share this since it worked great!

Now I just need a few more easy recipes that call for grated mozzarella... any suggestions?

Blogger Stalking

Sounds like an odd title. But wRitErsbLock is off to find Tink in the crazy city of Orlando.

Definition of Stalk:

1. a stem, shaft, or slender supporting part of anything
2. to proceed through (an area) in search of prey or quarry
3. a slow, stiff stride or gait.

Hmmm. Wonder which one wRitErsbLock's block was thinking about?

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes the stupidest knock-knock joke ever!

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris closed, that's why I'm knocking.

And for Floridians:

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Andy.
Andy who?
And he bit me again.

QOTD (just for fun): If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. ~Mohandas Gandhi

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

LemonStand was kind enough to let me spend some time on her blog. Here are a couple of links to some jokes I left over there:

Spell who?

Avenue who?

And just because I need to put in one from Tot:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Chicken
Chicken who?
Chicken in the toilet, don't flush it.

I kid you not... I almost spewed my dinner when he told it the first time. And it still makes me smile.

On A Different Note

A commenter stopped by and asked me to visit his site. Oddly enough, I actually went on over and checked it out. Lately I don't have time to comment but one or two words, much less go check out something new. But I did. It's called "Maybe Baby".

Wow. The writing was excellent. I was also able to empathize since I have gone through something similar with Tater. Though I consider myself one of the lucky ones.

But being the female side of the coin, I didn't have to deal with: "It is my fervent belief that the band that discusses the lead singer’s sperm quality together stays together."

Did I mention this very funny and well versed man asked for my help on his blog? yaa... you can stop laughing now. And start laughing again when you find out that I sent him to Harvey's site. What I forgot was to mention that Harvey's site is not for the faint of heart. I think that's ok, he'll make it alright. And if he can handle checking out Harvey's site and a few of my comments, I might even ask him if I can adopt him. I only have blog daughters. It would be nice to have a blog son. So keep your hands off of him Family!!! Other than to go visit and see what it is like to try and get pregnant when you can't from a maybe dad's point of view.

Sleeping Beauties

I just couldn't resist. Yes, Tot wore his spiderman costume to bed...

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Tea With Tot - NOT

Tot and I were suppose to have a Mother's Tea at preschool today. Didn't happen. Turns out Tot came down with Croup this weekend and was not really doing better on Monday morning. I made a doctor's appt and skipped the tea. When I went to pick up Tater, I stopped by to say hi to Tot's teachers and they presented me with the following stuff:

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The part that is hidden says "Tot loves "... you can see the rest. You still can't really see he smile and the nose Tot drew... but it's there:

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I wore the necklace and bracelet the rest of the day and will wear it tomorrow and the next day... until I get something from Tater... then it will more interesting. ;-)

I love the vase... it will be perfect for my itsy bitsy geraniums.

New Trees, Dead Grass

My grass is turning a nice brown. I should have taken another picture today... it looks funny around the trees with a little ring of green and the rest being pretty brown. I decided a way to keep the kids busy was to have them water. They wanted to get the water themselves. Not my wisest choice, but cute. (click any picture to enlarge it)

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Tater noticed I had come in with a camera...

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Yaa... I was mopping a lot...

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There is a new avocado, 2 bananas and a bay tree to be watered... along with a Royal Poinciana.

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A better watering place...

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Worth it to see this:

The Map!

My boys love treasure hunts. I draw maps and we go an look for stuff. This time it was Tater who drew the map.

I was surprised that I could figure out most of the stuff. The last couple of items caught me by surprise. Start on the upper left and then go down to the right and back up again. See more pawprints to see the answer.

Just in case you can't see the answers... Bee Hive, Shark Lake, Castle, Trampoline, Monster...

Therapy for My Boys

If you have a college bound child, they might want to consider going into the field of therapy. My boys are certainly going to need it. They got to attend a Gyn appointment with me yesterday. Nothing like explaining to your children what is going on and why.

Thank goodness it is Friday. While I'm at it... I love THIS SITE that Ogre pointed out. He doesn't post that much but what he does post makes me laugh. Particularly THIS ONE.

technorati: parenting

Tink's Talent

It amazes me that my family is very talented... I keep wondering why I didn't get any color coordination abilities!!!

Check out THIS POST that Tink did with Tot's picture! click to enlarge the picture when you get there.

technorati: family

Cool Websites

It's been a rather hectic week. Instead of stories about my boys, I present to you some websites:

Learn to read at Starfall

Go visit Ms Dewey and do NOT type anything. Just sit and watch it. I laughed so hard watching her. And try the 'best of Dewey' to the right of the search line.

Web Watchdog has some interesting articles

Past and Future Calendar entries to tell you the day of the week in the year 4000.

Those with an odd sense of humor and time to listen to messages... check out Sorry Gotta Go.

technorati: humor

More Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Odd tidbits found around the web because I can picture it happening at my house someday:

From a Boy's Life, May 1973:

Ralph: Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?
Dad: No, son, it wouldn't be right.
Ralph: Well, you could try.

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Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:

"One and one, the son-of-a-b.tch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-b.tch is four."
"Three and three... "

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Clara Jones taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.

The next day she approached Ms. Jones and told her what happened. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Johnny had said what he did.

Then suddenly, Ms Jones exclaimed, "Oh, I know... here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."

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Mathematic puns are the first sine of madness (Johann Von Haupkoph)

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Mother: Why are you placing a tablecloth with the word "truth" on it on the study table?

Daughter: Mom, I'd like to make this a "truth table."

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Are you groaning yet???

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And for some very old humor:

What is the square root of 69? 8 something ("Ate something")

What about sqrt(-69)? I 8 something

Q:and what about 68?
A: do me and i'll owe you 1.

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Yaa... and you keep dropping by to see what silly humor I'm going to put up next week. ;-)

technorati tag:humor

Humor for Dreaded Wednesday

Oldie but goodie... particularly after tax time.

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?

Good question, noted the Rabbi. We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.

Oh, replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer, but on he went, in his obnoxious way. What about all these bread-wafer purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?

Ah, yes, replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread-wafers.

I see, replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. Well, Rabbi, he went on, what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?

Here, too, we do not waste, answered the Rabbi. What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.

technorati tag:humor

ER 104

Or maybe the title should have been ER visit from 1am to 4am? I think I should have a contest on how many ER visits we will make this year? Any guesses? We made one last night. I'm exhausted. Good thing I wrote those posts last night for this morning. Usually I have a week's worth ready but not this week... and I sure wish I did.

Luckily I have some good friends and blogger buddies sending me humor. You'll see it over the next couple of weeks.

And if you are interested? The kids are fine. Mom and Dad are exhausted, fussy and need more sleep. ;-)

parenting

My Sister's Birthday

Wow. My blogless sister, aka ddpup, is getting another year older today. She is a dog lover with the cutest, best behaved puppies around. Just look at this face:

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And they sit at her feet, no matter what else is in the way:

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I mailed your card yesterday... so it'll be a few days late. I hope you don't mind the silly thing... it had dogs on it! And the fact that I'm announcing your birthday to the internet world... I just couldn't resist. You have done a lot for me over the years... like taking care of my finances while I galavanted all over the world, helping me put in a window in my house, and change all the plug covers. Ahhh the list could go on and on.

I know we don't talk much, but I do think of you often. **hugs** and I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

family

My Time of Death Was Exaggerated

While talking to Tink on the phone after picking up the boys... an interesting conversation occurred. Tater told me he was hungry. Really really hungry. He wanted to eat right that minute. I stopped talking to Tink and told him we would be eating shortly.

Tater: Mom, you are going to die after 2pm
**blink** **silence on my side of the phone**
**laughter out of Tink**
Me: Why am I going to die?
Tater: Because I'm soooo hungry
**silence because now I'm tearing up and trying not to laugh out loud**
**more laughter out of Tink, and she wants to know if Tater can save me**
Me: If I feed you, will you save me? (Or something of that nature was said while being prompted by Tink)
Tater: Yes, I'll save you mom.

I am amazed daily by the odd conversations I have with my children. They are soooo going to need therapy when they get older.

parenting fun